第274章

第274章togetmarriedhisfather’sconsentwaswanted,andtoobtainthisprinceandreysetofftoseehisfather.

thefatherreceivedhisson’scommunicationwithexternalcomposurebutwithinwardwrath.hecouldnotcomprehendhowanyonecouldwanttoalterhislife,tointroduceanynewelementintoit,whenlifewasforhimsonearitsend.“iftheywouldonlyletmelivemylifeoutasiwantto,andthendoastheylike！”theoldmansaidtohimself.withhisson,however,hemadeuseofthatdiplomacytowhichhealwayshadresortincaseofgravity.assumingacalmtone,hewentintothewholequestionjudicially.

inthefirstplace,themarriagewasnotabrilliantonefromthepointofviewofbirth,fortune,ordistinction.secondly,princeandreywasnotinhisfirstyouth,andwasdelicateinhealth（theoldmanlaidspecialstressonthis）,andthegirlwasveryyoung.thirdly,therewashisson,whomitwouldbeapitytoentrusttoameregirl.“fourthly,andfinally,”saidthefather,lookingironicallyathisson,“ibegyoutodeferthematterforayear;goabroad,andgetwell;findagerman,asyouwanttodoso,forprincenikolay,andthen,ifyourlove,yourpassion,yourobstinacy—whatyouchoose—aresogreat,thengetmarried.andthat’smylastwordonthesubject;youknow,thelast…”theoldprinceconcluded,inatonethatshowedthatnothingwouldcompelhimtoalterhisdecision.

princeandreysawclearlythattheoldmanhopedthateitherhisfeelingorthatofhisbetrothedwouldnotstandthetestofayearorthathe,theoldprince,woulddiehimselfinthecourseofit,andhedecidedtoactinaccordancewithhisfather’swish;tomakeanofferandtodeferthemarriageforayear.

threeweeksafterhislastvisittotherostovs,princeandreyreturnedtopetersburg.

thedayafterherconversationwithhermother,natashaspentthewholedayexpectingbolkonskybuthedidnotcome.thenextday,andthethird,itwasjustthesame.pierretoostayedaway,andnatasha,notknowingprinceandreyhadgoneawaytoseehisfather,didnotknowhowtointerprethisabsence.

sopassedthethreeweeks.natashawouldnotgooutanywhere,andwanderedlikeashadowaboutthehouse,idleandlistless,weptatnightinsecret,anddidnotgointohermotherintheevenings.shewascontinuallyflushingandveryirritable.itseemedtoherthateveryoneknewofherdisappointment,waslaughingather,andpityingher.inspiteofalltheintensityofherinwardgrief,thewoundtohervanityaggravatedhermisery.

shecameintothecountessoneday,triedtosaysomething,andallatonceburstintotears.hertearswerethetearsofanoffendedchild,whodoesnotknowwhyitisbeingpunished.thecountesstriedtocomfortnatasha.atfirstshelistenedtohermother’swords,butsuddenlysheinterruptedher：

“stop,mamma,idon’tthinkofhimorwanttothinkofhim！why,hekeptcoming,andhehasleftoff,andhehasleftoff…”hervoicequivered,shealmostbegantocry,butrecoveredherself,andwentoncalmly：

“andidon’twanttobemarriedatall.andi’mafraidofhim;ihavequite,quitegotoveritnow…”

thedayafterthisconversation,natashaputontheolddressshespeciallyassociatedwiththefunshehadoftenhadwhenwearingitinthemornings,andbeganfromearlymorningtotakeupheroldmanneroflife,whichshehadgivenupeversincetheball.aftermorningtea,shewentintothebighall,whichsheparticularlylikedonaccountoftheloudresonanceinit,andbegansinginghersol-faexercises.whenshehadfinishedthefirstexerciseshestoodstillinthemiddleoftheroomandrepeatedasinglemusicalphrasewhichparticularlypleasedher.shelistenedwithdelight,asthoughitwerenewtoher,tothecharmofthesenotesringingout,fillingtheemptyspaceofthegreatroomanddyingslowlyaway,andshefeltallatoncecheerful.“whythinksomuchaboutit;thingsareniceevenasitis,”shesaidtoherself;andshebeganwalkingupanddowntheroom,notputtingherfeetsimplydownontheresoundingparquet,butateachstepbendingherfootfromtheheeltothetoe（shehadonsomenewshoessheparticularlyliked）,andlisteningtotheregulartapoftheheelandcreakofthetoewiththesamepleasurewithwhichshehadlistenedtothesoundofherownvoice.passingbythelooking-glass,sheglancedintoit.“yes,that’sme！”theexpressionofherfaceseemedtosayatthesightofherself.“well,andverynicetoo.andineednobody.”

afootmanwouldhavecomeintoclearawaysomethingintheroom,butshewouldnotlethimcomein.sheshutthedoorafterhim,andcontinuedherpromenadeabouttheroom.shehadcomebackthatmorningtoherfavouritemoodoflovingherselfandbeingecstaticoverherself.“whatacharmingcreaturethatnatashais！”shesaidagainofherself,speakingassomethirdperson,ageneric,masculineperson.

“pretty,avoice,young,andshe’sinnobody’sway,onlyleaveherinpeace.”but,howevermuchshemightbeleftinpeace,shecouldnotnowbeatpeace,andshefeltthatimmediately.

inthevestibulethehall-dooropened;someonewasasking,“athome？”andstepswereaudible.natashawaslookingatherselfintheglass,butshedidnotseeherself.sheheardsoundsinthevestibule.whenshesawherself,herfacewaspale.itwashe.sheknewitforcertain,thoughsheherselfcaughtthesoundofhisvoiceattheopeneddoor.

natasha,paleandpanic-stricken,flewintothedrawing-room.

“mamma,bolkonskyhascome,”shesaid.“mamma,thisisawful,unbearable！…idon’twant…tobetortured！whatamitodo？”

thecountesshadnottimetoanswerherbeforeprinceandreywithatroubledandseriousfacewalkedintothedrawing-room.assoonashesawnatashahisfacebeamedwithdelight.hekissedthecountess’shandandnatasha’s,andsatdownbesidethesofa.