第199章

第199章onreachingpetersburg，pierreletnooneknowofhisarrival，wentouttoseenobody，andspentwholedaysinreadingthomasàkempis，abookwhichhadbeensenthim，hedidnotknowfromwhom.onething，andonethingonly，pierrethoroughlyunderstoodinreadingthatbook；heunderstoodwhathehadhithertoknownnothingof，alltheblissofbelievinginthepossibilityofattainingperfection，andinthepossibilityofbrotherlyandactivelovebetweenmen，revealedtohimbyosipalexyevitch.aweekafterhisarrival，theyoungpolishcount，villarsky，whompierreknewveryslightlyinpetersburgsociety，cameoneeveningintohisroomwiththesameofficialandceremoniousairwithwhichdolohov’ssecondhadcalledonhim.closingthedoorbehindhim，andassuringhimselfthattherewasnobodyintheroombutpierre，headdressedhim：

“ihavecometoyouwithamessageandaestion，count，”hesaidtohim，notsittingdown.“apersonageofveryhighstandinginourbrotherhoodhasbeenintercedingforyoutobeadmittedintoourbrotherhoodbeforetheusualterm，andhasaskedmetobeyoursponsor.iregarditasasacreddutytocarryoutthatperson’swishes.doyouwishundermysponsorshiptoenterthebrotherhoodoffreemasons？”

pierrewasimpressedbythecoldandausteretoneofthisman，whomhehadalmostalwaysseenbeforeatballswearinganagreeablesmile，inthesocietyofthemostbrilliantwomen.

“yes，idowishit，”saidpierre.

villarskybenthishead.

“onemorequestion，count，”hesaid，“towhichibegyou，notasafuturemason，butasanhonestman（galanthomme）toanswermeinallsincerity：haveyourenouncedyourformerconvictions？doyoubelieveingod？”

pierrethoughtamoment.

“yes…yes，idobelieveingod，”hesaid.

“inthatcase…”villarskywasbeginning，butpierreinterruptedhim.

“yes，ibelieveingod，”hesaidoncemore.

“inthatcase，wecango，”saidvillarsky.“mycarriageisatyourdisposal.”

throughoutthedrivevillarskywassilent.inanswertopierre’sinquiries，whathewouldhavetodo，andhowhewouldhavetoanswer，villarskysimplysaidthatbrothers，moreworthythanhe，wouldprovehim，andthatpierreneeddonothingbuttellthetruth.

theydroveinatthegatesofalargehouse，wherethelodgehaditsquarters，and，passingupadarkstaircase，enteredasmall，lightedante-room，wheretheytookofftheirovercoatswithouttheassistanceofservants.fromtheante-roomtheywalkedintoanotherroom.amaninstrangeattireappearedatthedoor.villarsky，goingintomeethim，saidsomethingtohiminfrenchinalowvoice，andwentuptoasmallcupboard，wherepierrenoticedgarmentsunlikeanyhehadseenbefore.takingahandkerchieffromthecupboard，villarskyputitoverpierre’seyesandtieditinaknotbehind，catchinghishairpainfullyintheknot.thenhedrewhimtowardshimself，kissedhim，andtakinghimbythehandledhimawaysomewhere.pierrehadbeenhurtbyhishairbeingpulledintheknot：hepuckereduphisfacefromthepain，andsmiledwithvagueshame.hishugefigurewithhisarmshangingathissides，andhisfacepuckeredupandsmiling，movedaftervillarskywithtimidanduncertainsteps.

afterleadinghimforabouttensteps，villarskystopped.

“whateverhappenstoyou，”saidhe，“youmustendureallwithgoodcourageifyouarefirmlyresolvedtoenterourbrotherhood.”（pierreansweredaffirmativelybyaninclinationofhishead.）“whenyouhearaknockatthedoor，youmayuncoveryoureyes，”addedvillarsky；“iwishyougoodcourageandess，”and，pressingpierre’shand，villarskywentaway.

whenhewasleftalone，pierrestillwentonsmilinginthesameway.twiceheedhisshouldersandraisedhishandtothehandkerchief，asthoughhewouldhavelikedtotakeitoff，butheletitdropagain.thefiveminuteshehadspentwithhiseyesbandagedseemedtohimanhour.hisarmsfeltnumb，hislegstottered，hefeltasthoughheweretiredout.hewasawareofthemostcomplexandconflictingfeelings.hewasafraidofwhatwouldbedonetohim，andstillmoreafraidofshowingfear.hefeltinquisitivetoknowwhatwascoming，whatwouldberevealedtohim；butaboveeverything，hefeltjoythatthemomenthadcomewhenhewouldatlastenteruponthatpathofregenerationandofanactivelyvirtuouslife，ofwhichhehadbeendreamingeversincehismeetingwithosipalexyevitch.

therecameloudknocksatthedoor.pierretookoffthebandageandlookedabouthim.itwasblackdarknessintheroom；onlyinonespottherewasalittlelampburningbeforesomethingwhite.pierrewentnearerandsawthatthelittlelampstoodonablacktable，onwhichtherelayanopenbook.thebookwasthegospel：thewhitethinginwhichthelampwasburningwasahumanskullwithitseyeholesandteeth.afterreadingthefirstwordsofthegospel，“inthebeginningwasthewordandthewordwaswithgod，”pierrewentroundthetableandcaughtsightofalargeopenboxfilledwithsomething.itwasacoffinfullofbones.hewasnotintheleastsurprisedbywhathesaw.hopingtoenteruponacompletelynewlife，utterlyunliketheoldlife，hewasreadyforanythingextraordinary，moreextraordinaryindeedthanwhathewasseeing.theskull，thecoffin，thegospel—itseemedtohimthathehadbeenexpectingallthat；hadbeenexpectingmore，indeed.hetriedtostirupadevotionalfeelinginhimself；helookedabouthim.“god，death，love，thebrotherhoodofman，”hekeptsayingtohimself，associatingwiththosewordsvaguebutjoyfulconceptionsofsomesort.thedooropenedandsomeonecamein.inthefaintlight，inwhichpierrecould，however，seealittlebythistime，ashortmanapproached.apparentlydazedbycomingoutofthelightintothedarkness，themanstopped，thenwithcautiousstepsmovedagaintowardsthetable，andlaidonitbothhissmallhandscoveredwithleathergloves.