第175章

第175章“louisxviwasexecutedbecausetheysaidhewasdishonourableandacriminal”（theideacrossedpierre’smind），“andtheywererightfromtheirpointofviewjustasthosewererighttoowhodiedamartyr’sdeathforhissake，andcanonisedhimasasaint.thenrobespierrewasexecutedforbeingatyrant.whoisright，whoiswrong？noone.butlivewhileyoulive，to-morrowyoudie，asimighthavediedanhourago.andisitworthworryingoneself，whenlifeisonlyonesecondincomparisonwitheternity？”butatthemomentwhenhebelievedhimselfsoothedbyreflectionsofthatsort，hesuddenlyhadavisionofher，andofheratthosemomentswhenhehadmostviolentlyexpressedhismostinsincerelovetoher，andhefeltarushofbloodtohisheart，andhadtojumpupagain，andmoveaboutandbreakandteartopiecesanythingthathishandscameacross.“whydidisaytoher‘iloveyou’？”hekeptrepeatingtohimself.andasherepeatedthequestionforthetenthtimethesayingofmolièrecameintohishead：“butwhatthedevilwashedoinginthatgalley？”andhelaughedathimself.

inthenighthecalledforhisvaletandbadehimpackuptogotopetersburg.hecouldnotconceivehowhewasgoingtospeaktohernow.heresolvedthatnextdayhewouldgoaway，leavingheraletter，inwhichhewouldannouncehisintentionofpartingfromherforever.

inthemorningwhenthevaletcameintothestudywithhiscoffee，pierrewaslyingonanottomanasleepwithanopenbookinhishand.

hewokeupandlookedabouthimforalongwhileinalarm，unabletograspwherehewas.

“thecountesssenttoinquireifyourexcellencywereathome，”saidthevalet.

butbeforepierrehadtimetomakeuphismindwhatanswerhewouldsend，thecountessherselfwalkedcalmlyandmajesticallyintotheroom.shewaswearingawhitesatindressing-gownembroideredwithsilver，andhadherhairintwoimmensecoilswoundlikeacoronetroundherexquisitehead.inspiteofhercalm，therewasawrathfullineonherratherprominent，marblebrow.withheraccustomedself-controlandcomposureshedidnotbegintospeaktillthevalethadlefttheroom.sheknewoftheduelandhadcometotalkofit.shewaitedtillthevalethadsetthecoffeeandgoneout.pierrelookedtimidlyatheroverhisspectacles，andasthehare，hemmedinbydogs，goesonlyingwithitsearsbackinsightofitsfoes，sohetriedtogoonreading.buthefeltthatthiswassenselessandimpossible，andagainheglancedtimidlyather.shedidnotsitdown，butstoodlookingathimwithadisdainfulsmile，waitingforthevalettobegone.

“what’sthisaboutnow？whathaveyoubeenupto？i’maskingyou，”shesaidsternly.

“i？i？what？”saidpierre.

“yougoinginfordeedsofvalour！now，answerme，whatdoesthisduelmean？whatdidyouwanttoprovebyit？eh！iaskyouthequestion.”pierreturnedheavilyonthesofa，openedhismouthbutcouldnotanswer.

“ifyouwon’tanswer，i’lltellyou…”ellenwenton.“youbelieveeverythingyou’retold.youweretold…”ellenlaughed，“thatdolohovwasmylover，”shesaidinfrench，withhercoarseplainnessofspeech，utteringtheword“amant”likeanyotherword，“andyoubelievedit！butwhathaveyouprovedbythis？whathaveyouprovedbythisduel？thatyou’reafool；buteveryoneknewthatasitwas.whatdoesitleadto？why，thati’mmadealaughing-stocktoallmoscow；thateveryone’ssayingthatwhenyouweredrunkanddidn’tknowwhatyouweredoing，youchallengedamanofwhomyouwerejealouswithoutgrounds，”ellenraisedhervoiceandgrewmoreandmorepassionate；“who’sabettermanthanyouineveryrespect.…”

“hem…hem…”pierregrowled，wrinklinguphisface，andneitherlookingathernorstirringamuscle.

“andhowcameyoutobelievethathe’smylover？…eh？becauseilikehissociety？ifyouwereclevererandmoreagreeable，ishouldpreferyours.”

“don’tspeaktome…ibeseechyou，”pierremutteredhuskily.

“whyshouldn’tispeak？icanspeakasilike，anditellyouboldlythatit’snotmanyawifewhowithahusbandlikeyouwouldn’thavetakenalover，butihaven’tdoneit，”shesaid.pierretriedtosaysomething，glancedatherwithstrangeeyes，whosemeaningshedidnotcomprehend，andlaydownagain.hewasinphysicalagonyatthatmoment；hefeltaweightonhischestsothathecouldnotbreathe.heknewthathemustdosomethingtoputanendtothisagonybutwhathewantedtodowastoohorrible.

“wehadbetterpart，”hearticulatedhuskily.

“part，byallmeans，onlyifyougivemeafortune，”saidellen.…“part—that’sathreattofrightenme！”

pierreleapedupfromthecouchandrushederingtowardsher.

“i’llkillyou！”heshouted，andsnatchingupamarbleslabfromatablewithastrengthhehadnotknowninhimselftillthen，hemadeasteptowardsherandwaveditather.

ellen’sfacewasterribletosee；sheshriekedanddartedawayfromhim.hisfather’snatureshoweditselfinhim.pierrefelttheabandonmentandthefascinationoffrenzy.heflungdowntheslab，shiveringitintofragments，andwithopenarmsswoopingdownuponellen，screamed“go！”inavoicesoterriblethattheyhearditalloverthehousewithhorror.godknowswhatpierrewouldhavedoneatthatmomentifellenhadnotrunoutoftheroom.

aweeklaterpierrehadmadeovertohiswifetherevenuefromallhisestatesingreatrussia，whichmadeupthelargerhalfofhisproperty，andhadgoneawayalonetopetersburg.