第197章

第197章“heexists,buttocomprehendhimishard,”themasonbeganagain,notlookingintopierre’sface,butstraightbeforehim,whilehisoldhands,whichcouldnotkeepstillforinwardemotion,turnedtheleavesofthebook.“ifithadbeenamanofwhoseexistencethouhadstdoubts,icouldhavebroughttheetheman,takenhimbythehand,andshownhimthee.buthowami,aninsignificantmortal,toshowallthepower,alltheeternity,alltheblessednessofhimtoonewhoisblind,ortoonewhoshutshiseyesthathemaynotsee,maynotunderstandhim,andmaynotsee,andnotunderstandallhisownvilenessandviciousness.”hepaused.“whoartthou？whatartthou？thoudreamestthatthouartwisebecausethoucouldstutterthosescoffingwords,”hesaid,withagloomyandscornfulirony,“whilethouartmorefoolishandartlessthanalittlebabe,who,playingwiththepartsofacunninglyfashionedwatch,shouldrashlysaythatbecauseheunderstandsnottheuseofthatwatch,hedoesnotbelieveinthemakerwhofashionedit.toknowhimisahardmatter.forages,fromourfirstfatheradamtoourday,havewebeenstrivingforthisknowledge,andareinfinitelyfarfromtheattainmentofouraim;butinourlackofunderstandingweseeonlyourownweaknessandhisgreatness…”

pierregazedwithshiningeyesintothefreemason’sface,listeningwithathrillathishearttohiswords;hedidnotinterrupthim,noraskquestions,butwithallhissoulhebelievedwhatthisstrangemanwastellinghim.whetherhebelievedontherationalgroundsputbeforehimbythefreemason,orbelieved,aschildrendo,throughtheintonations,theconviction,andtheearnestness,ofthemason’swords,thequiverinhisvoicethatsometimesalmostbrokehisutterance,orthegleamingoldeyesthathadgrownoldinthatconviction,orthecalm,theresolution,andthecertaintyofhisdestination,whichwereconspicuousinthewholepersonalityoftheoldman,andstruckpierrewithparticularforce,besidehisownabjectnessandhopelessness,—anyway,withhiswholesoulhelongedtobelieve,andbelievedandfeltajoyfulsenseofsoothing,ofrenewal,andofreturntolife.

“itisnotattainedbythereason,butbylife,”saidthemason.

“idon’tunderstand,”saidpierre,feelingwithdismaythatdoubtwasstirringwithinhim.hedreadedobscurityandfeeblenessinthefreemason’sarguments,hedreadedbeingunabletobelieveinhim.“idon’tunderstand,”hesaid,“inwhatwayhumanreasoncannotattainthatknowledgeofwhichyouspeak.”

thefreemasonsmiledhismild,fatherlysmile.

“thehighestwisdomandtruthislikethepurestdew,whichwetrytoholdwithinus,”saidhe.“caniholdinanimpurevesselthatpuredewandjudgeofitspurity？onlybytheinnerpurificationofmyselfcanibringthatdewcontainedwithinmetosomedegreeofpurity.”

“yes,yes;that’sso,”pierresaidjoyfully.

“thehighestwisdomisfoundednotonreasononly,notonthoseworldlysciences,ofphysics,history,chemistry,etc.,intowhichknowledgeoftheintellectisdivided.thehighestwisdomisone.thehighestwisdomknowsbutonescience—thescienceofthewhole,thesciencethatexplainsthewholecreationandtheplaceofmaninit.toinstilthisscienceintoone’ssoul,itisneedfultopurifyandrenewone’sinnerman,andso,beforeonecanknow,onemustbelieveandbemadeperfect.andfortheattainmentoftheseaimstherehasbeenputintooursoulsthelightofgod,calledtheconscience.”

“yes,yes,”pierreassented.

“lookwiththespiritualeyeintothyinnerman,andaskofthyselfwhetherthouartcontentwiththyself.whathastthouattainedwiththeguidanceoftheintellectalone？whatartthou？youareyoung,youarewealthy,youarecultured,sir.whathaveyoumadeofalltheblessingsvouchsafedyou？areyousatisfiedwithyourselfandyourlife？”

“no,ihatemylife,”saidpierre,frowning.