第127章

第127章itwasalongwhilesincetherostovshadhadnewsoftheirnikolushka.butinthemiddleofthewinteraletterwashandedtocountrostov,ontheenvelopeofwhichherecognisedhisson’shandwriting.onreceivingtheletterthecount,inalarmandinhaste,ranontiptoetohisroom,tryingtoescapenotice,shuthimselfinandreadtheletter.annamihalovnahadlearned（asshealwaysdidlearnallthatpassedinthehouse）thathehadreceivedaletter,andtreadingsoftly,shewentintothecountandfoundhimwiththeletterinhishand,sobbingandlaughingatonce.annamihalovna,thoughherfortuneshadbeenlookingup,wasstillaninmateoftherostovhousehold.

“mydearfriend？”annamihalovnabroughtoutinavoiceofmelancholyinquiry,equallyreadyforsympathyinanydirection.thecountsobbedmoreviolently

“nikolushka…letter…wounded…hewould…mydear…wounded…mydarlingboy…thelittlecountess…promoted…thankgod…howarewetotellthelittlecountess？”

annamihalovnasatdownbyhisside,withherownhandkerchiefwipedthetearsfromhiseyesandfromtheletter,thendriedherowntears,readtheletter,soothedthecount,anddecidedthatbeforedinnerandbeforeteashewouldpreparethecountess;andaftertea,withgod’shelp,tellherall.duringdinnerannamihalovnatalkedoftherumoursfromthewar,ofdearnikolay,inquiredtwicewhenhislastletterhadbeenreceived,thoughsheknewperfectlywell,andobservedthattheymightwellbegettingaletterfromhimto-day.everytimethatthecountessbegantobeuneasyunderthesehintsandlookedintrepidationfromthecounttoannamihalovna,thelatterturnedtheconversationinthemostunnoticeablewaytoinsignificantsubjects.natasha,whowasofallthefamilytheonemostgiftedwiththefacultyofcatchingtheshadesofintonations,ofglances,andexpressions,hadbeenonthealertfromthebeginningofdinner,andwascertainthattherewassomesecretbetweenherfatherandannamihalovna,andthatithadsomethingtodowithherbrother,andthatannamihalovnawaspavingthewayforit.natashaknewhoweasilyupsethermotherwasbyanyreferencestonewsfromnikolushka,andinspiteofallherrecklessnessshedidnotventureatdinnertoaskaquestion.butshewastoomuchexcitedtoeatanydinnerandkeptlingaboutonherchair,regardlessoftheprotestsofhergoverness.afterdinnersherushedheadlongtoovertakeannamihalovna,andinthedivan-roomdashedatherandflungherselfonherneck：“auntie,darling,dotellmewhatitis.”

“nothing,mydear.”

“no,darling,sweet,preciouspeach,iwon’tleaveoff;iknowyouknowsomething.”

annamihalovnashookherhead.“youaresharp,mychild！”shesaid.

“aletterfromnikolinka？i’msureofit！”criednatasha,readinganaffirmativeansweronthefaceofannamihalovna.

“but,forgod’ssake,bemorecareful;youknowwhatashockitmaybetoyourmamma.”

“iwillbe,iwill,buttellmeaboutit.youwon’t？well,then,i’llrunandtellherthisminute.”

annamihalovnagavenatashaabriefaccountofwhatwasintheletter,onconditionthatshewouldnottellasoul.

“onmywordofhonour,”saidnatasha,crossingherself,“iwon’ttellanyone,”andsheranatoncetosonya.“nikolinka…wounded…aletter…”sheproclaimedingleefultriumph

“nikolinka！”wasallsonyacouldarticulate,instantlyturningwhite.natashaseeingtheeffectofthenewsofherbrother’swoundonsonya,forthefirsttimefeltthepainfulaspectofthenews.

sherushedatsonya,edher,andbegantocry.“alittlewounded,butpromotedtobeanofficer;he’sallrightnow,hewriteshimself,”shesaidthroughhertears.

“onecanseeallyouwomenareregularcry-babies,”saidpetya,stridingwithresolutestepsupanddowntheroom;“i’mveryglad,reallyveryglad,thatmybrotherhasdistinguishedhimselfso.youallstartblubbering！youdon’tunderstandanythingaboutit.”natashasmiledthroughhertears.

“youhaven’treadtheletter？”askedsonya

“no;butshetoldmeitwasallover,andthathe’sanofficernow…”

“thankgod,”saidsonya,crossingherself.“butperhapsshewasdeceivingyou.letusgotomamma.”

petyahadbeenstruttingupanddowninsilence

“ifiwereinnikolinka’splace,i’dhavekilledalotmoreofthosefrenchmen,”hesaid,“they’resuchbeasts！i’dhavekilledthemtilltherewasaregularheapofthem,”petyawenton.

“holdyourtongue,petya,whatasillyyouare！…”

“i’mnotasilly;peoplearesillywhocryfortrifles,”saidpetya.

“doyourememberhim？”natashaaskedsuddenly,afteramoment’ssilence.sonyasmiled.

“doiremembernikolinka？”

“no,sonya,butdoyourememberhimsoastorememberhimthoroughly,torememberhimquite,”saidnatashawithastrenuousgesture,asthoughsheweretryingtoputintoherwordsthemostearnestmeaning.“andidoremembernikolinka,irememberhim,”shesaid.“butidon’trememberboris.idon’trememberhimabit…”

“what？youdon’trememberboris？”sonyaqueriedwithsurprise.

“idon’tmeanidon’trememberhim.iknowwhathe’slike,butnotasiremembernikolinka.ishutmyeyesandicanseehim,butnotboris”（sheshuthereyes）,“no,nothing！”

“ah,natasha！”saidsonya,lookingsolemnlyandearnestlyatherfriend,asthoughsheconsideredherunworthytohearwhatshemeanttosay,andwassayingittosomeoneelsewithwhomjokingwasoutofthequestion.“ihavecometoloveyourbrotheronceforall,andwhateverweretohappentohimandtome,icouldneverceasetolovehimallmylife.”

withinquisitive,wonderingeyes,natashagazedatsonya,andshedidnotspeak.shefeltthatwhatsonyawassayingwasthetruth,thattherewaslovesuchassonyawasspeakingof.butnatashahadneverknownanythinglikeit.shebelievedthatitmightbeso,butshedidnotunderstandit.