第7章TheParadoxofHappiness(1)

第7章theparadoxofhappiness(1)

·timothy·

whatisthedefinitionof“happiness？”isitmaterialwealthfilledwithfancycars，adreamhouse，extravagantfursandjewelry？orishappinesssimplyhavingaroofoveryourhead？foodinthefridge？havingachild？apet？aswimmingpool？adesigneribag？parents？grandchildren？love？money？theperfectjob？winningthelottery？

accordingtotheamericanheritagedictionary，“happiness”isderivedfromthemiddleenglishwordhap—meaning“luck.”butdoeshappinessreallyhaveanythingtodowith“luck？”basedonthisdescription，onecouldassumethatifyouavoidedafataltrafficaccidentbutgotfiredbycominglatetowork，youwouldbefilledwith“happiness？”isitluckorwhatyoumakeofit？maybe，“happiness”isexactlydefinedbyitsindirectalias：happiness—perhaps，happinessisinfactdefinedbythefortunethatwepermittohappen.

doyourecallatime—let’ssaywhenyouwereabout5yearsold—whatdefinedhappinessbackthen？wasitgettingapuppyforchristmas？ormaybe，youwereachildofdivorce；andallyouwantedwasformomanddadtogetbacktogetheragain？thenasyougotolder，youwerehopingthatsomeonewouldaskyoutothepromthatwould’vemadeyourday，maybeyourlifeforthemoment.duringcollege，goodgradesmadeyouhappy，butitwasshort-lived.becauseintherealworld，youhadtolookforajob，andcompetitionwasstark.it’sanemployer’sworldyouthought.butthen，yougottheperfectjob—nowyoucouldbehappy—orcouldyou？

liferequiresmorethanjustwhatwewant.inevitably，onemustunderstandtotrulyfind“happiness，”hemustmakehisownhappiness“happen”.soundsabitredundant，buttruthfully，thereisnosetguidelinesthatwillbringonehappiness.thereisno“magicwand”wecanwavetobringjoyintoourlives.humannaturethrivesonthethrillofthechase.wedreamandwehopeforthenextbigbreak—itisthegrandadventureofliving.

wearehopelesscreaturesofcomfort.welikehavingandaccumulatingthings.whetheroneadmitstoitornot，toacertaindegree，wealltrytokeepupwith“thejones”. weworksowecanpayourrents，mortgages，creditcarddebts，schoolloans，carpaymentsthelistgoesonandon. andatsomepoint，werealize，thatasidefromhavingmostofwhatwewant，westillaren’thappy.nowsincewe’velearnedtoadapttonewstandardswhichwe’vecreatedforourselves，wefindthatwehavelesstime，lesspatience，lesssleep，whichequatestomorestress，moreworryandmoreaggravation.so，ishappinesshonestlyjustcomprisedof“things”？

sometimes，wevirtuallytradeourlivesfornotonlybasicnecessities，butforexcessiveitemsandservicesaswell.webecomesoobsessedwithfindinghappiness，thatwelosesightofthefactthathappinessiswithin—always.certainlyyou’veheardofindividualstryingto“findthemselves”，or“rediscoverthemselves”.thereasontheyareattemptingtheseinnovativeapproachesisbecausetheyareseekinginnerhappiness.butthepointhasbeenmissed：happinessisalreadythere.

disappointmentsandtragediesinlifewillcomeandgo，buthappinessneverleavesyou.thehuman’scapacitytoberesilienttotrialsisunfathomable.wecanloseourjobs，butbegratefulforourspouses.wecanloseourhomestonature，butbethankfultobealive.

happinessisaperceptionofeachindividual.weareinstinctivelycompelledtofindfaultinourlives.byhumannature，webeginour“fault-finding”missionthemomentwe’recapableoffree-thinking.itisthen，thatwelosesenseofself-worthandtheerpictureofvitalityaltogether.stuckinthepatternsofthehappinessparadox，wesimplycannotfindwhereourhappinesshasgone.

it’snotamatterofbargaining，it’snotanissueofmoneyorfame—instead，happinessiswhatyouresolvetoaccept.ifwelivethroughoptimistichope；ifwedaretodream；ifweempowerourselvestofullylive；thenwehaveregainedoursenseofhappiness.thereisnoinbetween.thereisnootherreplacement.weonlyhaveonephysicallifetolive—wehavenochoicebuttomakethemostofit.

矛盾幸福感

蒂莫西

“幸福”是什么？幸福是拥有豪华的汽车、理想的居室、名贵的裘皮和珠宝等物质上的富足吗？或者，简单的只是有个遮风避雨的住所，冰箱里有食物，有孩子、宠物、游泳池、个性的包，有父母、子孙、有爱情、金钱和理想的工作，彩票中奖了呢？

在《美国传统字典》中，幸福是从中古英语“hap”一词演变而来的。“hap”意为“好运”。但是，幸福真的与“好运”有关联吗？基于此，想想看，如果你在一场必死无疑的交通事故中幸免于难，却因此迟到，导致被老板炒鱿鱼。对此，你会感到“幸福”吗？这是好运吗？还是要看个人如何看待这个问题呢？或许，确切地说，幸福的定义应当直接从它的词源来看——事实上，幸福或许就是命中注定要发生的事情。

你能回忆起你5岁时对幸福的理解吗？那时，幸福是从圣诞树上摘下的一只小狗吗？或者爸爸妈妈离婚了，你唯一的愿望就是他们能和好如初，重新生活在一起？当你渐渐长大，你希望有人会邀请你参加舞会，希望所有的日子都凝固在那一天、那一刻。上大学期间，考试得了高分让你无比开心，但这种幸福感都是短暂的。因为在现实中，你得找一份工作，而社会竞争也相当激烈。于是，你就会想，这是一个雇主的世界。随后，你找到了一份理想的工作——现在的你很开心，是吗？

生活向我们索要的远比我们想要的多。一个人必须明白，要想真正找到幸福，他就必须让自己幸福。可能听起来有些多余，但确是如此——生活中，没有能带来幸福的现成指南，也没有挥一挥就能带来欢乐的魔棒。人性在追求幸福的刺激中不断升级、完善。我们梦想着、期望着下一个大的转变——这就是生活中的大冒险了。