第167章

第167章itwasnearchristmasbythetimeallwassettled:theseasonofgeneralholidayapproached.inowclosedmortonschool,takingcarethatthepartingshouldnotbebarrenonmyside.goodfortuneopensthehandaswellastheheartwonderfully;andtogivesomewhatwhenwehavelargelyreceived,isbuttoaffordaventtotheunusualebullitionofthesensations.ihadlongfeltwithpleasurethatmanyofmyrusticscholarslikedme,andwhenweparted,thatconsciousnesswasconfirmed:theymanifestedtheiraffectionplainlyandstrongly.deepwasmygratificationtofindihadreallyaplaceintheirunsophisticatedhearts:ipromisedthemthatneveraweekshouldpassinfuturethatididnotvisitthem,andgivethemanhour’steachingintheirschool.

mr.riverscameupas,havingseentheclasses,nownumberingsixtygirls,fileoutbeforeme,andlockedthedoor,istoodwiththekeyinmyhand,exchangingafewwordsofspecialfarewellwithsomehalf-dozenofmybestscholars:asdecent,respectable,modest,andwell-informedyoungwomenascouldbefoundintheranksofthebritishpeasantry.andthatissayingagreatdeal;forafterall,thebritishpeasantryarethebesttaught,bestmannered,mostself-respectingofanyineurope:sincethosedaysihaveseenpaysannesandb?uerinnen;andthebestofthemseemedtomeignorant,coarse,andbesotted,comparedwithmymortongirls.

“doyouconsideryouhavegotyourrewardforaseasonofexertion?”askedmr.rivers,whentheyweregone.“doesnottheconsciousnessofhavingdonesomerealgoodinyourdayandgenerationgivepleasure?”

“doubtless.”

“andyouhaveonlytoiledafewmonths!wouldnotalifedevotedtothetaskofregeneratingyourracebewellspent?”

“yes,”isaid;“buticouldnotgoonforeverso:iwanttoenjoymyownfacultiesaswellastocultivatethoseofotherpeople.imustenjoythemnow;don’trecalleithermymindorbodytotheschool;iamoutofitanddisposedforfullholiday.”

helookedgrave.“whatnow?whatsuddeneagernessisthisyouevince?whatareyougoingtodo?”

“tobeactive:asactiveasican.andfirstimustbegyoutosethannahatliberty,andgetsomebodyelsetowaitonyou.”

“doyouwanther?”

“yes,togowithmetomoorhouse.dianaandmarywillbeathomeinaweek,andiwanttohaveeverythinginorderagainsttheirarrival.”

“iunderstand.ithoughtyouwereforflyingoffonsomeexcursion.itisbetterso:hannahshallgowithyou.”

“tellhertobereadybyto-morrowthen;andhereistheschoolroomkey:iwillgiveyouthekeyofmycottageinthemorning.”

hetookit.“yougiveitupverygleefully,”saidhe;“idon’tquiteunderstandyourlight-heartedness,becauseicannottellwhatemploymentyouproposetoyourselfasasubstitutefortheoneyouarerelinquishing.whataim,whatpurpose,whatambitioninlifehaveyounow?”

“myfirstaimwillbetocleandown(doyoucomprehendthefullforceoftheexpression?)—tocleandownmoorhousefromchambertocellar;mynexttorubitupwithbees-wax,oil,andanindefinitenumberofcloths,tillitglittersagain;mythird,toarrangeeverychair,table,bed,carpet,withmathematicalprecision;afterwardsishallgoneartoruinyouincoalsandpeattokeepupgoodfiresineveryroom;andlastly,thetwodaysprecedingthatonwhichyoursistersareexpectedwillbedevotedbyhannahandmetosuchabeatingofeggs,sortingofcurrants,gratingofspices,compoundingofchristmascakes,choppingupofmaterialsformince-pies,andsolemnisingofotherculinaryrites,aswordscanconveybutaninadequatenotionoftotheuninitiatedlikeyou.mypurpose,inshort,istohaveallthingsinanabsolutelyperfectstateofreadinessfordianaandmarybeforenextthursday;andmyambitionistogivethemabeau-idealofawelcomewhentheycome.”

st.johnsmiledslightly:stillhewasdissatisfied.

“itisallverywellforthepresent,”saidhe;“butseriously,itrustthatwhenthefirstflushofvivacityisover,youwilllookalittlehigherthandomesticendearmentsandhouseholdjoys.”

“thebestthingstheworldhas!”iinterrupted.

“no,jane,no:thisworldisnotthesceneoffruition;donotattempttomakeitso:norofrest;donotturnslothful.”

“imean,onthecontrary,tobebusy.”

“jane,iexcuseyouforthepresent:twomonths’graceiallowyouforthefullenjoymentofyournewposition,andforpleasingyourselfwiththislate-foundcharmofrelationship;butthen,ihopeyouwillbegintolookbeyondmoorhouseandmorton,andsisterlysociety,andtheselfishcalmandsensualcomfortofcivilisedaffluence.ihopeyourenergieswillthenoncemoretroubleyouwiththeirstrength.”

ilookedathimwithsurprise.“st.john,”isaid,“ithinkyouarealmostwickedtotalkso.iamdisposedtobeascontentasaqueen,andyoutrytostirmeuptorestlessness!towhatend?”

“totheendofturningtoprofitthetalentswhichgodhascommittedtoyourkeeping;andofwhichhewillsurelyonedaydemandastrictaccount.jane,ishallwatchyoucloselyandanxiously—iwarnyouofthat.andtrytorestrainthedisproportionatefervourwithwhichyouthrowyourselfintocommonplacehomepleasures.don’tclingsotenaciouslytotiesoftheflesh;saveyourconstancyandardourforanadequatecause;forbeartowastethemontritetransientobjects.doyouhear,jane?”

“yes;justasifyouwerespeakinggreek.ifeelihaveadequatecausetobehappy,andiwillbehappy.goodbye!”