第125章

第125章“thatismywife,”saidhe.“suchisthesoleconjugalembraceiamevertoknow—sucharetheendearmentswhicharetosolacemyleisurehours!andthisiswhatiwishedtohave”(layinghishandonmyshoulder):“thisyounggirl,whostandssograveandquietatthemouthofhell,lookingcollectedlyatthegambolsofademon,iwantedherjustasachangeafterthatfierceragout.woodands,lookatthedifference!comparethesecleareyeswiththeredballsyonder—thisfacewiththatmask—thisformwiththatbulk;thenjudgeme,priestofthegospelandmanofthelaw,andrememberwithwhatjudgmentyejudgeyeshallbejudged!offwithyounow.imustshutupmyprize.”

weallwithdrew.mr.rochesterstayedamomentbehindus,togivesomefurtherordertogracepoole.thesolicitoraddressedmeashedescendedthestair.

“you,madam,”saidhe,“areclearedfromallblame:yourunclewillbegladtohearit—if,indeed,heshouldbestillliving—whenmr.masonreturnstomadeira.”

“myuncle!whatofhim?doyouknowhim?”

“mr.masondoes.mr.eyrehasbeenthefunchalcorrespondentofhishouseforsomeyears.whenyourunclereceivedyourletterintimatingthecontemplatedunionbetweenyourselfandmr.rochester,mr.mason,whowasstayingatmadeiratorecruithishealth,onhiswaybacktojamaica,happenedtobewithhim.mr.eyrementionedtheintelligence;forheknewthatmyclientherewasacquaintedwithagentlemanofthenameofrochester.mr.mason,astonishedanddistressedasyoumaysuppose,revealedtherealstateofmatters.youruncle,iamsorrytosay,isnowonasickbed;fromwhich,consideringthenatureofhisdisease—decline—andthestageithasreached,itisunlikelyhewilleverrise.hecouldnotthenhastentoenglandhimself,toextricateyoufromthesnareintowhichyouhadfallen,butheimploredmr.masontolosenotimeintakingstepstopreventthefalsemarriage.hereferredhimtomeforassistance.iusedalldespatch,andamthankfuliwasnottoolate:asyou,doubtless,mustbealso.wereinotmorallycertainthatyourunclewillbedeadereyoureachmadeira,iwouldadviseyoutoaccompanymr.masonback;butasitis,ithinkyouhadbetterremaininenglandtillyoucanhearfurther,eitherfromorofmr.eyre.haveweanythingelsetostayfor?”heinquiredofmr.mason.

“no,no—letusbegone,”wastheanxiousreply;andwithoutwaitingtotakeleaveofmr.rochester,theymadetheirexitatthehalldoor.theclergymanstayedtoexchangeafewsentences,eitherofadmonitionorreproof,withhishaughtyparishioner;thisdutydone,hetoodeparted.

iheardhimgoasistoodatthehalf-opendoorofmyownroom,towhichihadnowwithdrawn.thehousecleared,ishutmyselfin,fastenedtheboltthatnonemightintrude,andproceeded—nottoweep,nottomourn,iwasyettoocalmforthat,but—mechanicallytotakeofftheweddingdress,andreplaceitbythestuffgownihadwornyesterday,asithought,forthelasttime.ithensatdown:ifeltweakandtired.ileanedmyarmsonatable,andmyheaddroppedonthem.andnowithought:tillnowihadonlyheard,seen,moved—followedupanddownwhereiwasledored—watchedeventrushonevent,disclosureopenbeyonddisclosure:butnow,ithought.