第102章

第102章sheheedednothingofwhatisaid;butwhenshehadtastedthewateranddrawnbreath,shewentonthus—

“itellyouicouldnotforgetit;anditookmyrevenge:foryoutobeadoptedbyyouruncle,andplacedinastateofeaseandcomfort,waswhaticouldnotendure.iwrotetohim;isaidiwassorryforhisdisappointment,butjaneeyrewasdead:shehaddiedoftyphusfeveratlowood.nowactasyouplease:writeandcontradictmyassertion—exposemyfalsehoodassoonasyoulike.youwereborn,ithink,tobemytorment:mylasthourisrackedbytherecollectionofadeedwhich,butforyou,ishouldneverhavebeentemptedtocommit.”

“ifyoucouldbutbepersuadedtothinknomoreofit,aunt,andtoregardmewithkindnessandforgiveness”

“youhaveaverybaddisposition,”saidshe,“andonetothisdayifeelitimpossibletounderstand:howfornineyearsyoucouldbepatientandquiescentunderanytreatment,andinthetenthbreakoutallfireandviolence,icannevercomprehend.”

“mydispositionisnotsobadasyouthink:iampassionate,butnotvindictive.manyatime,asalittlechild,ishouldhavebeengladtoloveyouifyouwouldhaveletme;andilongearnestlytobereconciledtoyounow:kissme,aunt.”

iapproachedmycheektoherlips:shewouldnottouchit.shesaidioppressedherbyleaningoverthebed,andagaindemandedwater.asilaidherdown—foriraisedherandsupportedheronmyarmwhileshedrank—icoveredherice-coldandclammyhandwithmine:thefeeblefingersshrankfrommytouch—theglazingeyesshunnedmygaze.

“loveme,then,orhateme,asyouwill,”isaidatlast,“youhavemyfullandfreeforgiveness:asknowforgod’s,andbeatpeace.”

poor,sufferingwoman!itwastoolateforhertomakenowtheefforttochangeherhabitualframeofmind:living,shehadeverhatedme—dying,shemusthatemestill.

thenursenowentered,andbessiefollowed.iyetlingeredhalf-an-hourlonger,hopingtoseesomesignofamity:butshegavenone.shewasfastrelapsingintostupor;nordidhermindagainrally:attwelveo’clockthatnightshedied.iwasnotpresenttoclosehereyes,norwereeitherofherdaughters.theycametotellusthenextmorningthatallwasover.shewasbythattimelaidout.elizaandiwenttolookather:georgiana,whohadburstoutintoloudweeping,saidshedarednotgo.therewasstretchedsarahreed’soncerobustandactiveframe,rigidandstill:hereyeofflintwascoveredwithitscoldlid;herbrowandstrongtraitsworeyettheimpressofherinexorablesoul.astrangeandsolemnobjectwasthatcorpsetome.igazedonitwithgloomandpain:nothingsoft,nothingsweet,nothingpitying,orhopeful,orsubduingdiditinspire;onlyagratinganguishforherwoes—notmyloss—andasombretearlessdismayatthefearfulnessofdeathinsuchaform.

elizasurveyedherparentcalmly.afterasilenceofsomeminutessheobserved—

“withherconstitutionsheshouldhavelivedtoagoodoldage:herlifewasshortenedbytrouble.”andthenaspasmconstrictedhermouthforaninstant:asitpassedawaysheturnedandlefttheroom,andsodidi.neitherofushaddroptatear.