第108章

第108章“igrievetoleavethornfield:ilovethornfield:—iloveit,becauseihavelivedinitafullanddelightfullife,—momentarilyatleast.ihavenotbeentrampledon.ihavenotbeenpetrified.ihavenotbeenburiedwithinferiorminds,andexcludedfromeveryglimpseofcommunionwithwhatisbrightandenergeticandhigh.ihavetalked,facetoface,withwhatireverence,withwhatidelightin,—withanoriginal,avigorous,anexpandedmind.ihaveknownyou,mr.rochester;anditstrikesmewithterrorandanguishtofeeliabsolutelymustbetornfromyouforever.iseethenecessityofdeparture;anditislikelookingonthenecessityofdeath.”

“wheredoyouseethenecessity?”heaskedsuddenly.

“where?you,sir,haveplaceditbeforeme.”

“inwhatshape?”

“intheshapeofmissingram;anobleandbeautifulwoman,—yourbride.”

“mybride!whatbride?ihavenobride!”

“butyouwillhave.”

“yes;—iwill!—iwill!”hesethisteeth.

“thenimustgo:—youhavesaidityourself.”

“no:youmuststay!iswearit—andtheoathshallbekept.”

“itellyouimustgo!”iretorted,rousedtosomethinglikepassion.“doyouthinkicanstaytobecomenothingtoyou?doyouthinkiamanautomaton?—amachinewithoutfeelings?andcanbeartohavemymorselofbreadsnatchedfrommylips,andmydropoflivingwaterdashedfrommycup?doyouthink,becauseiampoor,obscure,plain,andlittle,iamsoullessandheartless?youthinkwrong!—ihaveasmuchsoulasyou,—andfullasmuchheart!andifgodhadgiftedmewithsomebeautyandmuchwealth,ishouldhavemadeitashardforyoutoleaveme,asitisnowformetoleaveyou.iamnottalkingtoyounowthroughthemediumofcustom,conventionalities,norevenofmortalflesh;—itismyspiritthataddressesyourspirit;justasifbothhadpassedthroughthegrave,andwestoodatgod’sfeet,equal,—asweare!”

“asweare!”repeatedmr.rochester—“so,”headded,enclosingmeinhisarms.gatheringmetohisbreast,pressinghislipsonmylips:“so,jane!”

“yes,so,sir,”irejoined:“andyetnotso;foryouareamarriedman—orasgoodasamarriedman,andwedtooneinferiortoyou—toonewithwhomyouhavenosympathy—whomidonotbelieveyoutrulylove;forihaveseenandheardyousneerather.iwouldscornsuchaunion:thereforeiambetterthanyou—letmego!”

“where,jane?toireland?”

“yes—toireland.ihavespokenmymind,andcangoanywherenow.”

“jane,bestill;don’tleso,likeawildfranticbirdthatisrendingitsownplumageinitsdesperation.”

“iamnobird;andnonetensnaresme;iamafreehumanbeingwithanindependentwill,whichinowexerttoleaveyou.”

anothereffortsetmeatliberty,andistooderectbeforehim.

“andyourwillshalldecideyourdestiny,”hesaid:“iofferyoumyhand,myheart,andashareofallmypossessions.”

“youplayafarce,whichimerelylaughat.”

“iaskyoutopassthroughlifeatmyside—tobemysecondself,andbestearthlycompanion.”

“forthatfateyouhavealreadymadeyourchoice,andmustabidebyit.”

“jane,bestillafewmoments:youareover-excited:iwillbestilltoo.”

awaftofwindcamesweepingdownthelaurel-walk,andtrembledthroughtheboughsofthechestnut:itwanderedaway—away—toanindefinitedistance—itdied.thenightingale’ssongwasthentheonlyvoiceofthehour:inlisteningtoit,iagainwept.mr.rochestersatquiet,lookingatmegentlyandseriously.sometimepassedbeforehespoke;heatlastsaid—

“cometomyside,jane,andletusexplainandunderstandoneanother.”

“iwillneveragaincometoyourside:iamtornawaynow,andcannotreturn.”

“but,jane,isummonyouasmywife:itisyouonlyiintendtomarry.”

iwassilent:ithoughthemockedme.

“come,jane—comehither.”

“yourbridestandsbetweenus.”

无一错一首一发一内一容一在一6一9一书一吧一看！

herose,andwithastridereachedme.

“mybrideishere,”hesaid,againdrawingmetohim,“becausemyequalishere,andmylikeness.jane,willyoumarryme?”

stillididnotanswer,andstilliwrithedmyselffromhisgrasp:foriwasstillincredulous.

“doyoudoubtme,jane?”

“entirely.”

“youhavenofaithinme?”

“notawhit.”