第31章

第31章misstemplehadalwayssomethingofserenityinherair,ofstateinhermien,ofrefinedproprietyinherlanguage,whichprecludeddeviationintotheardent,theexcited,theeager:somethingwhichchastenedthepleasureofthosewholookedonherandlistenedtoher,byacontrollingsenseofawe;andsuchwasmyfeelingnow:butastohelenburns,iwasstruckwithwonder.

therefreshingmeal,thebrilliantfire,thepresenceandkindnessofherbelovedinstructress,or,perhaps,morethanallthese,somethinginherownuniquemind,hadrousedherpowerswithinher.theywoke,theykindled:first,theyglowedinthebrighttintofhercheek,whichtillthishourihadneverseenbutpaleandbloodless;thentheyshoneintheliquidlustreofhereyes,whichhadsuddenlyacquiredabeautymoresingularthanthatofmisstemple’s—abeautyneitheroffinecolournorlongeyelash,norpencilledbrow,butofmeaning,ofmovement,ofradiance.thenhersoulsatonherlips,andlanguageflowed,fromwhatsourceicannottell.hasagirloffourteenaheartlargeenough,vigorousenough,toholdtheswellingspringofpure,full,fervideloquence?suchwasthecharacteristicofhelen’sdiscourseonthat,tome,memorableevening;herspiritseemedhasteningtolivewithinaverybriefspanasmuchasmanyliveduringaprotractedexistence.

theyconversedofthingsihadneverheardof;ofnationsandtimespast;ofcountriesfaraway;ofsecretsofnaturediscoveredorguessedat:theyspokeofbooks:howmanytheyhadread!whatstoresofknowledgetheypossessed!thentheyseemedsofamiliarwithfrenchnamesandfrenchauthors:butmyamazementreacheditsclimaxwhenmisstempleaskedhelenifshesometimessnatchedamomenttorecallthelatinherfatherhadtaughther,andtakingabookfromashelf,badeherreadandconstrueapageofvirgil;andhelenobeyed,myorganofvenerationexpandingateverysoundingline.shehadscarcelyfinishederethebellannouncedbedtime!nodelaycouldbeadmitted;misstempleembracedusboth,saying,asshedrewustoherheart—

“godblessyou,mychildren!”

helensheheldalittlelongerthanme:shelethergomorereluctantly;itwashelenhereyefollowedtothedoor;itwasforhersheasecondtimebreathedasadsigh;forhershewipedatearfromhercheek.

onreachingthebedroom,weheardthevoiceofmissscatcherd:shewasexaminingdrawers;shehadjustpulledouthelenburns’s,andwhenweenteredhelenwasgreetedwithasharpreprimand,andtoldthatto-morrowsheshouldhavehalf-a-dozenofuntidilyfoldedarticlespinnedtohershoulder.

“mythingswereindeedinshamefuldisorder,”murmuredhelentome,inalowvoice:“iintendedtohavearrangedthem,butiforgot.”

nextmorning,missscatcherdwroteinconspicuouscharactersonapieceofpasteboardtheword“slattern,”andbounditlikeaphylacteryroundhelen’slarge,mild,intelligent,andbenign-lookingforehead.sheworeittillevening,patient,unresentful,regardingitasadeservedpunishment.themomentmissscatcherdwithdrewafterafternoonschool,irantohelen,toreitoff,andthrustitintothefire:thefuryofwhichshewasincapablehadbeenburninginmysoulallday,andtears,hotandlarge,hadcontinuallybeenscaldingmycheek;forthespectacleofhersadresignationgavemeanintolerablepainattheheart.

aboutaweeksubsequentlytotheincidentsabovenarrated,misstemple,whohadwrittentomr.lloyd,receivedhisanswer:itappearedthatwhathesaidwenttocorroboratemyaccount.misstemple,havingassembledthewholeschool,announcedthatinquiryhadbeenmadeintothechargesallegedagainstjaneeyre,andthatshewasmosthappytobeabletopronouncehercompletelyclearedfromeveryimputation.theteachersthenshookhandswithmeandkissedme,andamurmurofpleasureranthroughtheranksofmycompanions.

thusrelievedofagrievousload,ifromthathoursettoworkafresh,resolvedtopioneermywaythrougheverydifficulty:itoiledhard,andmyesswasproportionatetomyefforts;mymemory,notnaturallytenacious,improvedwithpractice;exercisesharpenedmywits;inafewweeksiwaspromotedtoahigherclass;inlessthantwomonthsiwasallowedtocommencefrenchanddrawing.ilearnedthefirsttwotensesoftheverbetre,andsketchedmyfirstcottage(whosewalls,by-the-bye,outrivalledinslopethoseoftheleaningtowerofpisa),onthesameday.thatnight,ongoingtobed,iforgottoprepareinimaginationthebarmecidesupperofhotroastpotatoes,orwhitebreadandnewmilk,withwhichiwaswonttoamusemyinwardcravings:ifeastedinsteadonthespectacleofidealdrawings,whichisawinthedark;alltheworkofmyownhands:freelypencilledhousesandtrees,picturesquerocksandruins,cuyp-likegroupsofcattle,sweetpaintingsofbutterflieshoveringoverunblownroses,ofbirdspickingatripecherries,ofwren’snestsenclosingpearl-likeeggs,wreathedaboutwithyoungivysprays.iexamined,too,inthought,thepossibilityofmyeverbeingabletotranslatecurrentlyacertainlittlefrenchstorywhichmadamepierrothadthatdayshownme;norwasthatproblemsolvedtomysatisfactionereifellsweetlyasleep.

wellhassolomonsaid—“betterisadinnerofherbswhereloveis,thanastalledoxandhatredtherewith.”

iwouldnotnowhaveexchangedlowoodwithallitsprivationsforgatesheadanditsdailyluxuries.