第30章
第30章“weshallthinkyouwhatyouproveyourselftobe,mychild.continuetoactasagoodgirl,andyouwillsatisfyus.”
“shalli,misstemple?”
“youwill,”saidshe,passingherarmroundme.“andnowtellmewhoistheladywhommr.brocklehurstcalledyourbenefactress?”
“mrs.reed,myuncle’swife.myuncleisdead,andheleftmetohercare.”
“didshenot,then,adoptyouofherownaccord?”
“no,ma’am;shewassorrytohavetodoit:butmyuncle,asihaveoftenheardtheservantssay,gothertopromisebeforehediedthatshewouldalwayskeepme.”
“wellnow,jane,youknow,oratleastiwilltellyou,thatwhenacriminalisaccused,heisalwaysallowedtospeakinhisowndefence.youhavebeenchargedwithfalsehood;defendyourselftomeaswellasyoucan.saywhateveryourmemoryestsistrue;butaddnothinganderatenothing.”
iresolved,inthedepthofmyheart,thatiwouldbemostmoderate—mostcorrect;and,havingreflectedafewminutesinordertoarrangecoherentlywhatihadtosay,itoldherallthestoryofmysadchildhood.exhaustedbyemotion,mylanguagewasmoresubduedthanitgenerallywaswhenitdevelopedthatsadtheme;andmindfulofhelen’swarningsagainsttheindulgenceofresentment,iinfusedintothenarrativefarlessofgallandwormwoodthanordinary.thusrestrainedandsimplified,itsoundedmorecredible:ifeltasiwentonthatmisstemplefullybelievedme.
inthecourseofthetaleihadmentionedmr.lloydashavingcometoseemeafterthefit:forineverforgotthe,tome,frightfulepisodeofthered-room:indetailingwhich,myexcitementwassure,insomedegree,tobreakbounds;fornothingcouldsofteninmyrecollectionthespasmofagonywhichclutchedmyheartwhenmrs.reedspurnedmywildsupplicationforpardon,andlockedmeasecondtimeinthedarkandhauntedchamber.
ihadfinished:misstempleregardedmeafewminutesinsilence;shethensaid—
“iknowsomethingofmr.lloyd;ishallwritetohim;ifhisreplyagreeswithyourstatement,youshallbepubliclyclearedfromeveryimputation;tome,jane,youareclearnow.”
shekissedme,andstillkeepingmeatherside(whereiwaswellcontentedtostand,foriderivedachild’spleasurefromthecontemplationofherface,herdress,heroneortwoornaments,herwhiteforehead,herclusteredandshiningcurls,andbeamingdarkeyes),sheproceededtoaddresshelenburns.
“howareyouto-night,helen?haveyoucoughedmuchto-day?”
“notquitesomuch,ithink,ma’am.”
“andthepaininyourchest?”
“itisalittlebetter.”
misstemplegotup,tookherhandandexaminedherpulse;thenshereturnedtoherownseat:assheresumedit,iheardhersighlow.shewaspensiveafewminutes,thenrousingherself,shesaidcheerfully—
“butyoutwoaremyvisitorsto-night;imusttreatyouassuch.”sherangherbell.
“barbara,”shesaidtotheservantwhoansweredit,“ihavenotyethadtea;bringthetrayandplacecupsforthesetwoyoungladies.”
andatraywassoonbrought.howpretty,tomyeyes,didthechinacupsandbrightteapotlook,placedonthelittleroundtablenearthefire!howfragrantwasthesteamofthebeverage,andthescentofthetoast!ofwhich,however,i,tomydismay(foriwasbeginningtobehungry)discernedonlyaverysmallportion:misstemplediscernedittoo.
“barbara,”saidshe,“canyounotbringalittlemorebreadandbutter?thereisnotenoughforthree.”
barbarawentout:shereturnedsoon—
“madam,mrs.hardensaysshehassentuptheusualquantity.”
mrs.harden,beitobserved,wasthehousekeeper:awomanaftermr.brocklehurst’sownheart,madeupofequalpartsofwhaleboneandiron.
“oh,verywell!”returnedmisstemple;“wemustmakeitdo,barbara,isuppose.”andasthegirlwithdrewsheadded,smiling,“fortunately,ihaveitinmypowertosupplydeficienciesforthisonce.”
havinginvitedhelenandmetoapproachthetable,andplacedbeforeeachofusacupofteawithonedeliciousbutthinmorseloftoast,shegotup,unlockedadrawer,andtakingfromitaparcelwrappedinpaper,disclosedpresentlytooureyesagood-sizedseed-cake.
“imeanttogiveeachofyousomeofthistotakewithyou,”saidshe,“butasthereissolittletoast,youmusthaveitnow,”andsheproceededtocutsliceswithageneroushand.
wefeastedthateveningasonnectarandambrosia;andnottheleastdelightoftheentertainmentwasthesmileofgratificationwithwhichourhostessregardedus,aswesatisfiedourfamishedappetitesonthedelicatefaresheliberallysupplied.
teaoverandthetrayremoved,sheagainsummonedustothefire;wesatoneoneachsideofher,andnowaconversationfollowedbetweenherandhelen,whichitwasindeedaprivilegetobeadmittedtohear.