第16章

第16章iwouldfainexercisesomebetterfacultythanthatoffiercespeaking;fainfindnourishmentforsomelessfiendishfeelingthanthatofsombreindignation.itookabook—somearabiantales;isatdownandendeavouredtoread.icouldmakenosenseofthesubject;myownthoughtsswamalwaysbetweenmeandthepageihadusuallyfoundfascinating.iopenedtheglass-doorinthebreakfast-room:theshrubberywasquitestill:theblackfrostreigned,unbrokenbysunorbreeze,throughthegrounds.icoveredmyheadandarmswiththeskirtofmyfrock,andwentouttowalkinapartoftheplantationwhichwasquitesequestrated;butifoundnopleasureinthesilenttrees,thefallingfir-cones,thecongealedrelicsofautumn,russetleaves,sweptbypastwindsinheaps,andnowstiffenedtogether.ileanedagainstagate,andlookedintoanemptyfieldwherenosheepwerefeeding,wheretheshortgrasswasnippedandblanched.itwasaverygreyday;amostopaquesky,“ondingonsnaw,”canopiedall;thenceflakesfeltitintervals,whichsettledonthehardpathandonthehoaryleawithoutmelting.istood,awretchedchildenough,whisperingtomyselfoverandoveragain,“whatshallido?—whatshallido?”

allatonceiheardaclearvoicecall,“missjane!whereareyou?cometolunch!”

itwasbessie,iknewwellenough;butididnotstir;herlightstepcametrippingdownthepath.

“younaughtylittlething!”shesaid.“whydon’tyoucomewhenyouarecalled?”

bessie’spresence,comparedwiththethoughtsoverwhichihadbeenbrooding,seemedcheerful;eventhough,asusual,shewassomewhatcross.thefactis,aftermyconflictwithandvictoryovermrs.reed,iwasnotdisposedtocaremuchforthenursemaid’stransitoryanger;andiwasdisposedtobaskinheryouthfullightnessofheart.ijustputmytwoarmsroundherandsaid,“come,bessie!don’tscold.”

theactionwasmorefrankandfearlessthananyiwashabituatedtoindulgein:somehowitpleasedher.

“youareastrangechild,missjane,”shesaid,asshelookeddownatme;“alittleroving,solitarything:andyouaregoingtoschool,isuppose?”

inodded.

“andwon’tyoubesorrytoleavepoorbessie?”

“whatdoesbessiecareforme?sheisalwaysscoldingme.”

“becauseyou’resuchaqueer,frightened,shylittlething.youshouldbebolder.”

“what!togetmoreknocks?”

“nonsense!butyouareratherputupon,that’scertain.mymothersaid,whenshecametoseemelastweek,thatshewouldnotlikealittleoneofherowntobeinyourplace.—now,comein,andi’vesomegoodnewsforyou.”

“idon’tthinkyouhave,bessie.”

“child!whatdoyoumean?whatsorrowfuleyesyoufixonme!well,butmissisandtheyoungladiesandmasterjohnaregoingouttoteathisafternoon,andyoushallhaveteawithme.i’llaskcooktobakeyoualittlecake,andthenyoushallhelpmetolookoveryourdrawers;foriamsoontopackyourtrunk.missisintendsyoutoleavegatesheadinadayortwo,andyoushallchoosewhattoysyouliketotakewithyou.”

“bessie,youmustpromisenottoscoldmeanymoretilligo.”

“well,iwill;butmindyouareaverygoodgirl,anddon’tbeafraidofme.don’tstartwhenichancetospeakrathersharply;it’ssoprovoking.”

“idon’tthinkishalleverbeafraidofyouagain,bessie,becauseihavegotusedtoyou,andishallsoonhaveanothersetofpeopletodread.”

“ifyoudreadthemthey’lldislikeyou.”

“asyoudo,bessie?”

“idon’tdislikeyou,miss;ibelieveiamfonderofyouthanofalltheothers.”

“youdon’tshowit.”

“youlittlesharpthing!you’vegotquiteanewwayoftalking.whatmakesyousoventuresomeandhardy?”

“why,ishallsoonbeawayfromyou,andbesides”—iwasgoingtosaysomethingaboutwhathadpassedbetweenmeandmrs.reed,butonsecondthoughtsiconsidereditbettertoremainsilentonthathead.

“andsoyou’regladtoleaveme?”

“notatall,bessie;indeed,justnowi’mrathersorry.”

无一错一首一发一内一容一在一6一9一书一吧一看！

“justnow!andrather!howcoollymylittleladysaysit!idaresaynowifiweretoaskyouforakissyouwouldn’tgiveitme:you’dsayyou’drathernot.”

“i’llkissyouandwelcome:bendyourheaddown.”bessiestooped;wemutuallyembraced,andifollowedherintothehousequitecomforted.thatafternoonlapsedinpeaceandharmony;andintheeveningbessietoldmesomeofhermostenchainingstories,andsangmesomeofhersweetestsongs.evenformelifehaditsgleamsofsunshine.