第19章ConscienceinArt

第19章conscienceinart

"inevercouldholdmypartner,andytucker,downtolegitimateethicsofpureswindling,"saidjeffpeterstomeoneday."andyhadtoomuchimaginationtobehonest.heusedtodeviseschemesofmoney-gettingsofraudulentandhigh-financialthattheywouldn'thavebeenallowedinthebylawsofarailroadrebatesystem.

"myself,ineverbelievedintakinganyman'sdollarsunlessigavehimsomethingforit—somethinginthewayofrolledgoldjewelry,gardenseeds,lumbagolotion,stockcertificates,stovepolishoracrackontheheadtoshowforhismoney.iguessimusthavehadnewenglandancestorsawaybackandinheritedsomeoftheirstanchandedfearofthepolice.

"butandy'sfamilytreewasindifferentkind.idon'tthinkhecouldhavetracedhisdescentanyfurtherbackthanacorporation.

"onesummerwhilehewasinthemiddlewest,workingdowntheohiovalleywithalineoffamilyalbums,headachepowdersandroachdestroyer,andytakesoneofhisnotionsofhighandactionablefinanciering.

"'jeff,’sayshe,'i'vebeenthinkingthatweoughttodroptheserutabagafanciersandgiveourattentiontosomethingmorenourishingandprolific.ifwekeeponsnapshootingthesehindsfortheireggmoneywe'llbeclassedasnaturefakers.howaboutplungingintothefastnessesoftheskyscrapercountryandbitingsomebigbullcaribousinthechest?’"'well,’saysi,'youknowmyidiosyncrasies.ipreferasquare,non-illegalstyleofbusinesssuchaswearecarryingonnow.whenitakemoneyiwanttoleavesometangibleobjectintheotherfellow'shandsforhimtogazeatandtodistracthisattentionfrommyspoor,evenifit'sonlyakomicalkusstrickfingerringforsquirtingperfumeinafriend'seye.butifyou'vegotafreshidea,andy,’saysi,'let'shavealookatit.i'mnotsoweddedtopettygraftthatiwouldrefusesomethingbetterinthewayofasubsidy.’

"'iwasthinking,’saysandy,'ofalittlehuntwithouthorn,houndorcameraamongthegreatherdofthemidasamericanus,commonlyknownasthepittsburgmillionaires.’

"'innewyork?’iasks.

"'no,sir,’saysandy,'inpittsburg.that'stheirhabitat.theydon'tlikenewyork.theygotherenowandthenjustbecauseit'sexpectedof'em.’

"'apittsburgmillionaireinnewyorkislikeaflyinacapofhotcoffee—heattractsattentionandcomment,buthedon'tenjoyit.newyorkridiculeshimfor'blowing’somuchmoneyinthattownofsneaksandsnobs,andsneers.thetruthis,hedon'tspendanythingwhileheisthere.

"'that'sthevoiceofnewyork,’goesonandy.'thetown'snothingbutaheadwaiter.ifyoutipittoomuchit'llgoandstandbythedoorandmakefunofyoutothehatcheckboy.whenapittsburgerwantstospendmoneyandhaveagoodtimehestaysathome.that'swherewe'llgotocatchhim.’

"well,tomakeadensestorymorecondensed,meandandycachedourparisgreenandantipyrinepowdersandalbumsinafriend'scellar,andtookthetrailtopittsburg.andydidn'thaveanyespecialprospectusofchicaneryandviolencedrawnup,buthealwayshadplentyofconfidencethathisimmoralnaturewouldrisetoanyoccasionthatpresenteditself.

"asaconcessiontomyideasofself-preservationandrectitudehepromisedthatifishouldtakeanactiveandincriminatingpartinanylittlebusinessventurethatwemightworkupthereshouldbesomethingactualandcognizanttothesensesoftouch,sight,tasteorsmelltotransfertothevictimforthemoneysomyconsciencemightresteasy.afterthatifeltbetterandenteredmorecheerfullyintothefoulplay.

"'andy,’saysi,aswestrayedthroughthesmokealongthecinderpaththeycallsmithfieldstreet,'hadyoufiguredouthowwearegoingtogetacquaintedwiththesecokekingsandpigironsqueezers?notthatiwoulddecrymyownworthorsystemofdrawingroomdeportment,andworkwiththeoliveforkandpieknife,’saysi,'butisn'ttheextraneousintothesalonsofthestogiesmokersgoingtobeharderthanyouimagined?’

"'ifthere'sanyhandicapatall,’saysandy,'it'sourown,refinementandinherentculture.pittsburgmillionairesareafinebodyofplain,wholehearted,unassuming,democraticmen.

"'theyareroughbutuncivilintheirmanners,andthoughtheirwaysareboisterousandunpolished,underitalltheyhaveagreatdealofimpolitenessanddiscourtesy.nearlyeveryoneof'emrosefromobscurity,’saysandy,'andthey’llliveinittillthetowngetstousingsmokeconsumers.ifweactsimpleandunaffectedanddon'tgotoofarfromthesaloonsandkeepmakinganoiselikeanimportdutyonsteelrailswewon'thaveanytroubleinmeetingsomeof'emsocially.’

"wellandyandmedriftedabouttownthreeorfourdaysgettingourbearings.wegottoknowingseveralmillionairesbysight.

"oneusedtostophisautomobileinfrontofourhotelandhaveaquartofchampagnebroughtouttohim.whenthewaiteropenedithe'dturnituptohismouthanddrinkitoutofthebottle.thatshowedheusedtobeaglassblowerbeforehemadehismoney.

"oneeveningandyfailedtocometothehotelfordinner.abonteleveno'clockhecameintomyroom.

"'landedone,jeff,’sayshe.'twelvemillions.oil,rollingmills,realestateandnaturalgas.he'safineman;noairsabouthim.madeallhismoneyinthelastfiveyears.he'sgotprofessorspostinghimupnowineducation—artandliteratureandhaberdasheryandsuchthings.

"'whenisawhimhe'djustwonabetof$10,000withasteelcorporationmanthatthere'dbefoursuicidesinthealleghenyrollingmillstoday.soeverybodyinsighthadtowalkupandhavedrinksonhim.hetookafancytomeandaskedmetodinnerwithhim.wewenttoarestaurantindiamondalleyandsatonstoolsandhadasparklingmoselleandclamchowderandapplefritters.

"'thenhewantedtoshowmehisbachelorapartmentonlibertystreet.he'sgottenroomsoverafishmarketwithprivilegeofthebathonthenextfloorabove.hetoldmeitcosthim$18,000tofurnishhisapartment,andibelieveit.

"'he'sgot$40,000worthofpicturesinoneroom,and$20,000worthofcuriosandantiquesinanother.hisname'sscudder,andhe's45,andtakinglessonsonthepianoand15,000barrelsofoiladayoutofhiswells.’

"'allright,’saysi.'preliminarycantersatisfactory.but,kayvooly,voo?whatgoodistheartjunktous.’,andtheoil?’

"'now,thatman,’saysandy,sittingthoughtfullyonthebed,'ain'twhatyouwouldcallanordinaryscutt.whenhewasshowingmehiscabinetofartcurioshisfacelighteduplikethedoorofacokeoven.hesaysthatifsomeofhisbigdealsgothroughhe'llmakej.p.morgan'scollectionofsweetshoptapestryandaugusta,me.,beadworklooklikethecontentsofanostrich'scrawthrownonascreenbyamagiclantern.

"'andthenheshowedmealittlecarving,’wentonandy,'thatanybodycouldseewasawonderfulthing.itwassomethinglike2,000yearsold,hesaid.itwasalotusflowerwithawoman'sfaceinitcarvedoutofasolidpieceofivory.

"'scudderlooksitupinacatalogueanddescribesit.anegyptiancarvernamedkhaframadetwoof'emforkingramesesii.abouttheyearb.c.theotheronecan'tbefound.thejunkshopsandantiquebugshaverubberedalleuropeforit,butitseemstobeoutofstock.scudderpaid$2,000fortheonehehas.’

"'oh,well,’saysi,'thissoundslikethepurlingorarilltome.ithoughtwecameheretoteachthemillionairesbusiness,insteadoflearningartfrom'em?’

"'bepatient,’saysandykindly.'maybewewillseeariftinthesmokeerelong.’

"'allthenextmorningandywasont.ididn'tseehimuntilaboutnoon.hecametothehotelandcalledmeintohisroomacrossthehall.hepulledaroundishbundleaboutasbigasagooseeggoutofhispocketandunwrappedit.itwasanivorycarvingjustashehaddescribedthemillionaire'stome.

"'iwentinanoldsecond-handstoreandpawnshopawhileago,’saysandy,'andiseethishalfhiddenunderalotofoldersandtruck.thepawnbrokersaidhe'dhaditseveralyearsandthinksitwassoakedbysomearabsorturksorsomeforeigndubsthatusedtolivedownbytheriver.

"'iofferedhim$2forit,andimusthavelookedlikeiwantedit,forhesaiditwouldbetakingthepumpernickeloutofhischildren'smouthstoholdanyconversationthatdidnotleaduptoapriceof$35.ifinallygotitfor$25.

"'jeff,’goesonandy,'thisistheexactcounterpartofscudder'scarving.it'sabsolutelyadeadringerforit.he'llpay$2,000foritasquickashe'dtuckanapkinunderhischin.andwhyshouldn'titbethegenuineotherone,anyhow,thattheoldgypsywhittledout?’

"'whynot,indeed?’saysi.'andhowshallwegoaboutcompellinghimtomakeavoluntarypurchaseofit?’

"andyhadhisplanallready,andi'lltellyouhowwecarrieditout.

"igotapairofbluespectacles,putonmyblackfrockcoat,rumpledmyhairupandbecameprof.pickleman.iwenttoanotherhotel,registered,andsentatelegramtoscuddertocometoseemeatonceonimportantartbusiness.theelevatordumpedhimonmeinlessthananhour.hewasaymanwithaclarionvoice,smellingofconnecticutwrappersandnaphtha.

"'hello,profess!’heshouts.'how'syourconduct?’

"irumpledmyhairsomemoreandgavehimablueglassstare.

"'sir,’saysi,'areyoucorneliust.scudder?ofpittsburg,pennsylvania?’

"'iam,’sayshe.'comeoutandhaveadrink.’

"'ihaveneitherthetimenorthedesire,’saysi,'forsuchharmfulanddeleteriousamusements.ihavecomefromnewyork,’saysi,'onamatterofbusi-onamatterofart.

"'ilearnedtherethatyouaretheownerofanegyptianivorycarvingofthetimeoframesesii,representingtheheadofqueenisisinalotusflower.therewereonlytwoofsuchcarvingsmade.onehasbeenlostformanyyears.irecentlydiscoveredandpurchasedtheotherinapawn—inanobscuremuseuminvienna.iwishtopurchaseyours.nameyourprice.’

"'well,thegreaticejams,profess!’saysscudder.'haveyoufoundtheotherone?mesell?no.idon'tguesscorneliusscudderneedstosellanythingthathewantstokeep.haveyougotthecarvingwithyou,profess?’

"ishowsittoscudder.heexaminesitcarefulallover.

"'it'sthearticle,’sayshe.'it'saduplicateofmine,everylineandcurveofit.tellyouwhati'lldo,’hesays.'iwon'tsell,buti'llbuy.giveyou$2,500foryours.’

"'sinceyouwon'tsell,iwill,’saysi.'largebills,please.i'mamanoffewwords.imustreturntonewyorktonight.ilecturetomorrowattheaquarium.’

"scuddersendsacheckdownandthehotelcashesit.hegoesoffwithhispieceofantiquityandihurrybackroandy'shotel,accordingtoarrangement.

"andyiswalkingupanddowntheroomlookingathiswatch.

"'well?’hesays.

"'twenty-fivehundred,’saysi.'cash.’