第82章

第82章itwasnearlyanhourlaterwhentheyheardfootstepsinthecorridorandanotherknockatthedoor.bothwomenwaitedthistimecompletelyrelyingonrazumihin’spromise;heactuallyhadeededinbringingzossimov.zossimovhadagreedatoncetodesertthedrinkingpartytogotoraskolnikov’s,buthecamereluctantlyandwiththegreatestsuspiciontoseetheladies,mistrustingrazumihininhisexhilaratedcondition.buthisvanitywasatoncereassuredandflattered;hesawthattheywerereallyexpectinghimasanoracle.hestayedjusttenminutesandeededincompletelyconvincingandcomfortingpulcheriaalexandrovna.hespokewithmarkedsympathy,butwiththereserveandextremeseriousnessofayoungdoctoratanimportantconsultation.hedidnotutterawordonanyothersubjectanddidnotdisplaytheslightestdesiretoenterintomorepersonalrelationswiththetwoladies.remarkingathisfirstentrancethedazzlingbeautyofavdotyaromanovna,heendeavourednottonoticeheratallduringhisvisitandaddressedhimselfsolelytopulcheriaalexandrovna.allthisgavehimextraordinaryinwardsatisfaction.hedeclaredthathethoughttheinvalidatthismomentgoingonverysatisfactorily.accordingtohisobservationsthepatient’sillnesswasduepartlytohisunfortunatematerialsurroundingsduringthelastfewmonths,butithadpartlyalsoamoralorigin,“was,sotospeak,theproductofseveralmaterialandmoralinfluences,anxieties,apprehensions,troubles,certainideas…andsoon.”noticingstealthilythatavdotyaromanovnawasfollowinghiswordswithcloseattention,zossimovallowedhimselftoenlargeonthistheme.onpulcheriaalexandrovna’sanxiouslyandtimidlyinquiringasto“somesuspicionofinsanity,”herepliedwithacomposedandcandidsmilethathiswordshadbeenerated;thatcertainlythepatienthadsomefixedidea,somethingapproachingamonomania—he,zossimov,wasnowparticularlystudyingthisinterestingbranchofmedicine—butthatitmustberecollectedthatuntilto-daythepatienthadbeenindeliriumand…andthatnodoubtthepresenceofhisfamilywouldhaveafavourableeffectonhisrecoveryanddistracthismind,“ifonlyallfreshshockscanbeavoided,”headdedsignificantly.thenhegotup,tookleavewithanimpressiveandaffablebow,whileblessings,warmgratitude,andentreatieswereshowereduponhim,andavdotyaromanovnaspontaneouslyofferedherhandtohim.hewentoutexceedinglypleasedwithhisvisitandstillmoresowithhimself.

“we’lltalkto-morrow;gotobedatonce!”razumihinsaidinconclusion,followingzossimovout.“i’llbewithyouto-morrowmorningasearlyaspossiblewithmyreport.”

“that’safetchinglittlegirl,avdotyaromanovna,”remarkedzossimov,almostlickinghislipsastheybothcameoutintothestreet.

“fetching?yousaidfetching?”roaredrazumihinandheflewatzossimovandseizedhimbythethroat.“ifyoueverdare.…doyouunderstand?doyouunderstand?”heshouted,shakinghimbythecollarandsqueezinghimagainstthewall.“doyouhear?”

“letmego,youdrunkendevil,”saidzossimov,lingandwhenhehadlethimgo,hestaredathimandwentoffintoasuddenguffaw.razumihinstoodfacinghimingloomyandearnestreflection.

“ofcourse,iamanass,”heobserved,sombreasastormcloud,“butstill…youareanother.”

“no,brother,notatallsuchanother.iamnotdreamingofanyfolly.”

theywalkedalonginsilenceandonlywhentheywereclosetoraskolnikov’slodgings,razumihinbrokethesilenceinconsiderableanxiety.

“listen,”hesaid,“you’reafirst-ratefellow,butamongyourotherfailings,you’realoosefish,thatiknow,andadirtyone,too.youareafeeble,nervouswretch,andamassofwhims,you’regettingfatandlazyandcan’tdenyyourselfanything—andicallthatdirtybecauseitleadsonestraightintothedirt.you’veletyourselfgetsoslackthatidon’tknowhowitisyouarestillagood,evenadevoteddoctor.you—adoctor—sleeponafeatherbedandgetupatnighttoyourpatients!inanotherthreeorfouryearsyouwon’tgetupforyourpatients…buthangitall,that’snotthepoint!…youaregoingtospendto-nightinthelandlady’sflathere.(hardworki’vehadtopersuadeher!)andi’llbeinthekitchen.sohere’sachanceforyoutogettoknowherbetter.…it’snotasyouthink!there’snotatraceofanythingofthesort,brother…!”

“butidon’tthink!”

“hereyouhavemodesty,brother,silence,bashfulness,asavagevirtue…andyetshe’ssighingandmeltinglikewax,simplymelting!savemefromher,byallthat’sunholy!she’smostprepossessing…i’llrepayyou,i’lldoanything.…”

zossimovlaughedmoreviolentlythanever.

“well,youaresmitten!butwhatamitodowithher?”

“itwon’tbemuchtrouble,iassureyou.talkanyrotyouliketoher,aslongasyousitbyherandtalk.you’readoctor,too;trycuringherofsomething.iswearyouwon’tregretit.shehasapiano,andyouknow,istrumalittle.ihaveasongthere,agenuinerussianone:‘ishedhottears.’shelikesthegenuinearticle—andwell,itallbeganwiththatsong;nowyou’rearegularperformer,amaitre,arubinstein.…iassureyou,youwon’tregretit!”

“buthaveyoumadehersomepromise?somethingsigned?apromiseofmarriage,perhaps?”

“nothing,nothing,absolutelynothingofthekind!besidessheisnotthatsortatall.…tchebarovtriedthat.…”

“wellthen,dropher!”

“butican’tdropherlikethat!”

“whycan’tyou?”

“well,ican’t,that’sallaboutit!there’sanelementofattractionhere,brother.”

“thenwhyhaveyoufascinatedher?”

“ihaven’tfascinatedher;perhapsiwasfascinatedmyselfinmyfolly.butshewon’tcareastrawwhetherit’syouori,solongassomebodysitsbesideher,sighing.…ican’texplaintheposition,brother…lookhere,youaregoodatmathematics,andworkingatitnow…beginteachinghertheintegralcalculus;uponmysoul,i’mnotjoking,i’minearnest,it’llbejustthesametoher.shewillgazeatyouandsighforawholeyeartogether.italkedtoheroncefortwodaysatatimeabouttheprussianhouseoflords(foronemusttalkofsomething)—shejustsighedandperspired!andyoumustn’ttalkoflove—she’sbashfultohysterics—butjustletherseeyoucan’ttearyourselfaway—that’senough.it’sfearfullycomfortable;you’requiteathome,youcanread,sit,lieabout,write.youmayevenventureonakiss,ifyou’recareful.”

“butwhatdoiwantwithher?”

“ach,ican’tmakeyouunderstand!yousee,youaremadeforeachother!ihaveoftenbeenremindedofyou!…you’llcometoitintheend!sodoesitmatterwhetherit’ssoonerorlater?there’sthefeather-bedelementhere,brother—ach!andnotonlythat!there’sanattractionhere—hereyouhavetheendoftheworld,ananchorage,aquiethaven,thenaveloftheearth,thethreefishesthatarethefoundationoftheworld,theessenceofpancakes,ofsavouryfish-pies,oftheeveningsamovar,ofsoftsighsandwarmshawls,andhotstovestosleepon—assnugasthoughyouweredead,andyetyou’realive—theadvantagesofbothatonce!well,hangit,brother,whatstuffi’mtalking,it’sbedtime!listen.isometimeswakeupatnight;soi’llgoinandlookathim.butthere’snoneed,it’sallright.don’tyouworryyourself,yetifyoulike,youmightjustlookinonce,too.butifyounoticeanything—deliriumorfever—wakemeatonce.buttherecan’tbe.…”