第81章

第81章“andiamsurethathewillsaythesameto-morrow…aboutthat,”avdotyaromanovnasaidfinally.and,ofcourse,therewasnogoingbeyondthat,forthiswasapointwhichpulcheriaalexandrovnawasafraidtodiscuss.douniawentupandkissedhermother.thelatterwarmlyembracedherwithoutspeaking.thenshesatdowntowaitanxiouslyforrazumihin’sreturn,timidlywatchingherdaughterwhowalkedupanddowntheroomwithherarmsfolded,lostinthought.thiswalkingupanddownwhenshewasthinkingwasahabitofavdotyaromanovna’sandthemotherwasalwaysafraidtobreakinonherdaughter’smoodatsuchmoments.

razumihin,ofcourse,wasridiculousinhissuddendrunkeninfatuationforavdotyaromanovna.yetapartfromhiseccentriccondition,manypeoplewouldhavethoughtitjustifiediftheyhadseenavdotyaromanovna,especiallyatthatmomentwhenshewaswalkingtoandfrowithfoldedarms,pensiveandmelancholy.avdotyaromanovnawasremarkablygoodlooking;shewastall,strikinglywell-proportioned,strongandself-reliant—thelatterqualitywasapparentineverygesture,thoughitdidnotintheleastdetractfromthegraceandsoftnessofhermovements.infacesheresembledherbrother,butshemightbedescribedasreallybeautiful.herhairwasdarkbrown,alittlelighterthanherbrother’s;therewasaproudlightinheralmostblackeyesandyetattimesalookofextraordinarykindness.shewaspale,butitwasahealthypallor;herfacewasradiantwithfreshnessandvigour.hermouthwasrathersmall;thefullredlowerlipprojectedalittleasdidherchin;itwastheonlyirregularityinherbeautifulface,butitgaveitapeculiarlyindividualandalmosthaughtyexpression.herfacewasalwaysmoreseriousandthoughtfulthangay;buthowwellsmiles,howwellyouthful,lighthearted,irresponsible,laughtersuitedherface!itwasnaturalenoughthatawarm,open,simple-hearted,honestgiantlikerazumihin,whohadneverseenanyonelikeherandwasnotquitesoberatthetime,shouldlosehisheadimmediately.besides,aschancewouldhaveit,hesawdouniaforthefirsttimetransfiguredbyherloveforherbrotherandherjoyatmeetinghim.afterwardshesawherlowerlipquiverwithindignationatherbrother’sinsolent,cruelandungratefulwords—andhisfatewassealed.

hehadspokenthetruth,moreover,whenheblurtedoutinhisdrunkentalkonthestairsthatpraskovyapavlovna,raskolnikov’seccentriclandlady,wouldbejealousofpulcheriaalexandrovnaaswellasofavdotyaromanovnaonhisaccount.althoughpulcheriaalexandrovnawasforty-three,herfacestillretainedtracesofherformerbeauty;shelookedmuchyoungerthanherage,indeed,whichisalmostalwaysthecasewithwomenwhoretainserenityofspirit,sensitivenessandpuresincerewarmthofhearttooldage.wemayaddinparenthesisthattopreserveallthisistheonlymeansofretainingbeautytooldage.herhairhadbeguntogrowgreyandthin,therehadlongbeenlittlecrow’sfootwrinklesroundhereyes,hercheekswerehollowandsunkenfromanxietyandgrief,andyetitwasahandsomeface.shewasdouniaoveragain,twentyyearsolder,butwithouttheprojectingunderlip.pulcheriaalexandrovnawasemotional,butnotsentimental,timidandyielding,butonlytoacertainpoint.shecouldgivewayandacceptagreatdealevenofwhatwascontrarytoherconvictions,buttherewasacertainbarrierfixedbyhonesty,principleandthedeepestconvictionswhichnothingwouldinducehertocross.

exactlytwentyminutesafterrazumihin’sdeparture,therecametwosubduedbuthurriedknocksatthedoor:hehadcomeback.

“iwon’tcomein,ihaven’ttime,”hehastenedtosaywhenthedoorwasopened.“hesleepslikeatop,soundly,quietly,andgodgranthemaysleeptenhours.nastasya’swithhim;itoldhernottoleavetillicame.nowiamfetchingzossimov,hewillreporttoyouandthenyou’dbetterturnin;icanseeyouaretootiredtodoanything.…”

andheranoffdownthecorridor.

“whataverycompetentand…devotedyoungman!”criedpulcheriaalexandrovnaexceedinglydelighted.

“heseemsasplendidperson!”avdotyaromanovnarepliedwithsomewarmth,resumingherwalkupanddowntheroom.