第79章

第79章thisconversationtookplaceonthelandingjustbeforethelandlady’sdoor.nastasyalightedthemfromastepbelow.razumihinwasinextraordinaryexcitement.halfanhourearlier,whilehewasbringingraskolnikovhome,hehadindeedtalkedtoofreely,buthewasawareofithimself,andhisheadwasclearinspiteofthevastquantitieshehadimbibed.nowhewasinastateborderingonecstasy,andallthathehaddrunkseemedtoflytohisheadwithredoubledeffect.hestoodwiththetwoladies,seizingbothbytheirhands,persuadingthem,andgivingthemreasonswithastonishingplainnessofspeech,andatalmosteverywordheuttered,probablytoemphasisehisarguments,hesqueezedtheirhandspainfullyasinavise.hestaredatavdotyaromanovnawithouttheleastregardforgoodmanners.theysometimespulledtheirhandsoutofhishugebonypaws,butfarfromnoticingwhatwasthematter,hedrewthemalltheclosertohim.ifthey’dtoldhimtojumpheadforemostfromthestaircase,hewouldhavedoneitwithoutthoughtorhesitationintheirservice.thoughpulcheriaalexandrovnafeltthattheyoungmanwasreallytooeccentricandpinchedherhandtoomuch,inheranxietyoverherrodyashelookedonhispresenceasprovidential,andwasunwillingtonoticeallhispeculiarities.butthoughavdotyaromanovnasharedheranxiety,andwasnotoftimorousdisposition,shecouldnotseetheglowinglightinhiseyeswithoutwonderandalmostalarm.itwasonlytheunboundedconfidenceinspiredbynastasya’saccountofherbrother’squeerfriend,whichpreventedherfromtryingtorunawayfromhim,andtopersuadehermothertodothesame.sherealised,too,thatevenrunningawaywasperhapsimpossiblenow.tenminuteslater,however,shewasconsiderablyreassured;itwascharacteristicofrazumihinthatheshowedhistruenatureatonce,whatevermoodhemightbein,sothatpeoplequicklysawthesortofmantheyhadtodealwith.

“youcan’tgotothelandlady,that’sperfectnonsense!”hecried.“ifyoustay,thoughyouarehismother,you’lldrivehimtoafrenzy,andthengoodnessknowswhatwillhappen!listen,i’lltellyouwhati’lldo:nastasyawillstaywithhimnow,andi’llconductyoubothhome,youcan’tbeinthestreetsalone;petersburgisanawfulplaceinthatway.…butnomatter!theni’llrunstraightbackhereandaquarterofanhourlater,onmywordofhonour,i’llbringyounewshowheis,whetherheisasleep,andallthat.then,listen!theni’llrunhomeinatwinkling—i’vealotoffriendsthere,alldrunk—i’llfetchzossimov—that’sthedoctorwhoislookingafterhim,heisthere,too,butheisnotdrunk;heisnotdrunk,heisneverdrunk!i’lldraghimtorodya,andthentoyou,sothatyou’llgettworeportsinthehour—fromthedoctor,youunderstand,fromthedoctorhimself,that’saverydifferentthingfrommyaccountofhim!ifthere’sanythingwrong,isweari’llbringyouheremyself,but,ifit’sallright,yougotobed.andi’llspendthenighthere,inthepassage,hewon’thearme,andi’lltellzossimovtosleepatthelandlady’s,tobeathand.whichisbetterforhim:youorthedoctor?socomehomethen!butthelandladyisoutofthequestion;it’sallrightforme,butit’soutofthequestionforyou:shewouldn’ttakeyou,forshe’s…forshe’safool…she’dbejealousonmyaccountofavdotyaromanovnaandofyou,too,ifyouwanttoknow…ofavdotyaromanovnacertainly.sheisanabsolutely,absolutelyountablecharacter!butiamafool,too!…nomatter!comealong!doyoutrustme?come,doyoutrustmeornot?”

“letusgo,mother,”saidavdotyaromanovna,“hewillcertainlydowhathehaspromised.hehassavedrodyaalready,andifthedoctorreallywillconsenttospendthenighthere,whatcouldbebetter?”

“yousee,you…you…understandme,becauseyouareanangel!”razumihincriedinecstasy,“letusgo!nastasya!flyupstairsandsitwithhimwithalight;i’llcomeinaquarterofanhour.”

thoughpulcheriaalexandrovnawasnotperfectlyconvinced,shemadenofurtherresistance.razumihingaveanarmtoeachanddrewthemdownthestairs.hestillmadeheruneasy,asthoughhewascompetentandgood-natured,washecapableofcarryingouthispromise?heseemedinsuchacondition.…

“ah,iseeyouthinkiaminsuchacondition!”razumihinbrokeinuponherthoughts,guessingthem,ashestrolledalongthepavementwithhugesteps,sothatthetwoladiescouldhardlykeepupwithhim,afacthedidnotobserve,however.“nonsense!thatis…iamdrunklikeafool,butthat’snotit;iamnotdrunkfromwine.it’sseeingyouhasturnedmyhead…butdon’tmindme!don’ttakeanynotice:iamtalkingnonsense,iamnotworthyofyou.…iamutterlyunworthyofyou!theminutei’vetakenyouhome,i’llpouracoupleofpailfulsofwaterovermyheadinthegutterhere,andthenishallbeallright.…ifonlyyouknewhowiloveyouboth!don’tlaugh,anddon’tbeangry!youmaybeangrywithanyone,butnotwithme!iamhisfriend,andthereforeiamyourfriend,too,iwanttobe…ihadapresentiment… yeartherewasamoment…thoughitwasn’tapresentimentreally,foryouseemtohavefallenfromheaven.andiexpectishan’tsleepallnight…zossimovwasafraidalittletimeagothathewouldgomad…that’swhyhemustn’tbeirritated.”

“whatdoyousay?”criedthemother.

“didthedoctorreallysaythat?”askedavdotyaromanovna,alarmed.