第211章

第211章raskolnikovwasworriedthatthissenselessdreamhauntedhismemorysomiserably,theimpressionofthisfeverishdeliriumpersistedsolong.thesecondweekaftereasterhadcome.therewerewarmbrightspringdays;intheprisonwardthegratingwindowsunderwhichthesentinelpacedwereopened.soniahadonlybeenabletovisithimtwiceduringhisillness;eachtimeshehadtoobtainpermission,anditwasdifficult.butsheoftenusedtocometothehospitalyard,especiallyintheevening,sometimesonlytostandaminuteandlookupatthewindowsoftheward.

oneevening,whenhewasalmostwellagain,raskolnikovfellasleep.onwakinguphechancedtogotothewindow,andatoncesawsoniainthedistanceatthehospitalgate.sheseemedtobewaitingforsomeone.somethingstabbedhimtotheheartatthatminute.heshudderedandmovedawayfromthewindow.nextdaysoniadidnotcome,northedayafter;henoticedthathewasexpectingheruneasily.atlasthewasdischarged.onreachingtheprisonhelearntfromtheconvictsthatsofyasemyonovnawaslyingillathomeandwasunabletogoout.

hewasveryuneasyandsenttoinquireafterher;hesoonlearntthatherillnesswasnotdangerous.hearingthathewasanxiousabouther,soniasenthimapencillednote,tellinghimthatshewasmuchbetter,thatshehadaslightcoldandthatshewouldsoon,verysooncomeandseehimathiswork.hisheartthrobbedpainfullyashereadit.

againitwasawarmbrightday.earlyinthemorning,atsixo’clock,hewentofftoworkontheriverbank,wheretheyusedtopoundalabasterandwheretherewasakilnforbakingitinashed.therewereonlythreeofthemsent.oneoftheconvictswentwiththeguardtothefortresstofetchatool;theotherbegangettingthewoodreadyandlayingitinthekiln.raskolnikovcameoutoftheshedontotheriverbank,satdownonaheapoflogsbytheshedandbegangazingatthewidedesertedriver.fromthehighbankabroadlandscapeopenedbeforehim,thesoundofsingingfloatedfaintlyaudiblefromtheotherbank.inthevaststeppe,bathedinsunshine,hecouldjustsee,likeblackspecks,thenomads’tents.theretherewasfreedom,thereothermenwereliving,utterlyunlikethosehere;theretimeitselfseemedtostandstill,asthoughtheageofabrahamandhisflockshadnotpassed.raskolnikovsatgazing,histhoughtspassedintoday-dreams,intocontemplation;hethoughtofnothing,butavaguerestlessnessexcitedandtroubledhim.suddenlyhefoundsoniabesidehim;shehadcomeupnoiselesslyandsatdownathisside.itwasstillquiteearly;themorningchillwasstillkeen.sheworeherpooroldburnousandthegreenshawl;herfacestillshowedsignsofillness,itwasthinnerandpaler.shegavehimajoyfulsmileofwelcome,butheldoutherhandwithherusualtimidity.shewasalwaystimidofholdingoutherhandtohimandsometimesdidnotofferitatall,asthoughafraidhewouldrepelit.healwaystookherhandasthoughwithrepugnance,alwaysseemedvexedtomeetherandwassometimesobstinatelysilentthroughouthervisit.sometimesshetrembledbeforehimandwentawaydeeplygrieved.butnowtheirhandsdidnotpart.hestolearapidglanceatheranddroppedhiseyesonthegroundwithoutspeaking.theywerealone,noonehadseenthem.theguardhadturnedawayforthetime.