第162章

第162章lebeziatnikovlookedperturbed.

“i’vecometoyou,sofyasemyonovna,”hebegan.“excuseme…ithoughtishouldfindyou,”hesaid,addressingraskolnikovsuddenly,“thatis,ididn’tmeananything…ofthatsort…butijustthought…katerinaivanovnahasgoneoutofhermind,”heblurtedoutsuddenly,turningfromraskolnikovtosonia.

soniascreamed.

“atleastitseemsso.but…wedon’tknowwhattodo,yousee!shecameback—sheseemstohavebeenturnedoutsomewhere,perhapsbeaten.…soitseemsatleast,…shehadruntoyourfather’sformerchief,shedidn’tfindhimathome:hewasdiningatsomeothergeneral’s.…onlyfancy,sherushedoffthere,totheothergeneral’s,and,imagine,shewassopersistentthatshemanagedtogetthechieftoseeher,hadhimfetchedoutfromdinner,itseems.youcanimaginewhathappened.shewasturnedout,ofcourse;but,accordingtoherownstory,sheabusedhimandthrewsomethingathim.onemaywellbelieveit.…howitisshewasn’ttakenup,ican’tunderstand!nowsheistellingeveryone,includingamaliaivanovna;butit’sdifficulttounderstandher,sheisscreamingandflingingherselfabout.…ohyes,sheshoutsthatsinceeveryonehasabandonedher,shewilltakethechildrenandgointothestreetwithabarrel-organ,andthechildrenwillsinganddance,andshetoo,andcollectmoney,andwillgoeverydayunderthegeneral’swindow…‘toleteveryoneseewell-bornchildren,whosefatherwasanofficial,inginthestreet.’shekeepsbeatingthechildrenandtheyareallcrying.sheisteachinglidatosing‘myvillage,’theboytodance,polenkathesame.sheistearingupalltheclothes,andmakingthemlittlecapslikeactors;shemeanstocarryatinbasinandmakeittinkle,insteadofmusic.…shewon’tlistentoanything.…imaginethestateofthings!it’sbeyondanything!”

lebeziatnikovwouldhavegoneon,butsonia,whohadheardhimalmostbreathless,snatcheduphercloakandhat,andranoutoftheroom,puttingonherthingsasshewent.raskolnikovfollowedherandlebeziatnikovcameafterhim.

“shehascertainlygonemad!”hesaidtoraskolnikov,astheywentoutintothestreet.“ididn’twanttofrightensofyasemyonovna,soisaid‘itseemedlikeit,’butthereisn’tadoubtofit.theysaythatinconsumptionthetuberclessometimesoccurinthebrain;it’sapityiknownothingofmedicine.ididtrytopersuadeher,butshewouldn’tlisten.”

“didyoutalktoheraboutthetubercles?”

“notpreciselyofthetubercles.besides,shewouldn’thaveunderstood!butwhatisayis,thatifyouconvinceapersonlogicallythathehasnothingtocryabout,he’llstopcrying.that’sclear.isityourconvictionthathewon’t?”

“lifewouldbetooeasyifitwereso,”answeredraskolnikov.

“excuseme,excuseme;ofcourseitwouldberatherdifficultforkaterinaivanovnatounderstand,butdoyouknowthatinparistheyhavebeenconductingseriousexperimentsastothepossibilityofcuringtheinsane,simplybylogicalargument?oneprofessorthere,ascientificmanofstanding,latelydead,believedinthepossibilityofsuchtreatment.hisideawasthatthere’snothingreallywrongwiththephysicalorganismoftheinsane,andthatinsanityis,sotosay,alogicalmistake,anerrorofjudgment,anincorrectviewofthings.hegraduallyshowedthemadmanhiserrorand,wouldyoubelieveit,theysayhewasessful?butashemadeuseofdouchestoo,howfaresswasduetothattreatmentremainsuncertain.…soitseemsatleast.”

raskolnikovhadlongceasedtolisten.reachingthehousewherehelived,henoddedtolebeziatnikovandwentinatthegate.lebeziatnikovwokeupwithastart,lookedabouthimandhurriedon.

raskolnikovwentintohislittleroomandstoodstillinthemiddleofit.whyhadhecomebackhere?helookedattheyellowandtatteredpaper,atthedust,athissofa.…fromtheyardcamealoudcontinuousknocking;someoneseemedtobehammering…hewenttothewindow,roseontiptoeandlookedoutintotheyardforalongtimewithanairofabsorbedattention.buttheyardwasemptyandhecouldnotseewhowashammering.inthehouseonthelefthesawsomeopenwindows;onthewindow-sillswerepotsofsickly-lookinggeraniums.linenwashungoutofthewindows…heknewitallbyheart.heturnedawayandsatdownonthesofa.

never,neverhadhefelthimselfsofearfullyalone!

yes,hefeltoncemorethathewouldperhapscometohatesonia,nowthathehadmadehermoremiserable.

“whyhadhegonetohertobegforhertears?whatneedhadhetopoisonherlife?oh,themeannessofit!”

“iwillremainalone,”hesaidresolutely,“andsheshallnotcometotheprison!”

fiveminuteslaterheraisedhisheadwithastrangesmile.thatwasastrangethought.

“perhapsitreallywouldbebetterinsiberia,”hethoughtsuddenly.

hecouldnothavesaidhowlonghesattherewithvaguethoughtssurgingthroughhismind.allatoncethedooropenedanddouniacamein.atfirstshestoodstillandlookedathimfromthedoorway,justashehaddoneatsonia;thenshecameinandsatdowninthesameplaceasyesterday,onthechairfacinghim.helookedsilentlyandalmostvacantlyather.

“don’tbeangry,brother;i’veonlycomeforoneminute,”saiddounia.

herfacelookedthoughtfulbutnotstern.hereyeswerebrightandsoft.hesawthatshetoohadcometohimwithlove.