第170章

第170章“well,it’sprettyplain.whereverimightgo,whateverhappenedtome,youwouldremaintolookafterthem.i,sotospeak,givethemintoyourkeeping,razumihin.isaythisbecauseiknowquitewellhowyouloveher,andamconvincedofthepurityofyourheart.iknowthatshetoomayloveyouandperhapsdoesloveyoualready.nowdecideforyourself,asyouknowbest,whetheryouneedgoinforadrinkingboutornot.”

“rodya!yousee…well.…ach,damnit!butwheredoyoumeantogo?ofcourse,ifit’sallasecret,nevermind.…buti…ishallfindoutthesecret…andiamsurethatitmustbesomeridiculousnonsenseandthatyou’vemadeitallup.anywayyouareacapitalfellow,acapitalfellow!…”

“thatwasjustwhatiwantedtoadd,onlyyouinterrupted,thatthatwasaverygooddecisionofyoursnottofindoutthesesecrets.leaveittotime,don’tworryaboutit.you’llknowitallintimewhenitmustbe.yesterdayamansaidtomethatwhatamanneedsisfreshair,freshair,freshair.imeantogotohimdirectlytofindoutwhathemeantbythat.”

razumihinstoodlostinthoughtandexcitement,makingasilentconclusion.

“he’sapoliticalconspirator!hemustbe.andhe’sontheeveofsomedesperatestep,that’scertain.itcanonlybethat!and…anddouniaknows,”hethoughtsuddenly.

“soavdotyaromanovnacomestoseeyou,”hesaid,weighingeachsyllable,“andyou’regoingtoseeamanwhosaysweneedmoreair,andsoofcoursethatletter…thattoomusthavesomethingtodowithit,”heconcludedtohimself.

“whatletter?”

“shegotaletterto-day.itupsetherverymuch—verymuchindeed.toomuchso.ibeganspeakingofyou,sheedmenotto.then…thenshesaidthatperhapsweshouldverysoonhavetopart…thenshebeganwarmlythankingmeforsomething;thenshewenttoherroomandlockedherselfin.”

“shegotaletter?”raskolnikovaskedthoughtfully.

“yes,andyoudidn’tknow?hm…”

theywerebothsilent.

“good-bye,rodion.therewasatime,brother,wheni.…nevermind,good-bye.yousee,therewasatime.…well,good-bye!imustbeofftoo.iamnotgoingtodrink.there’snoneednow.…that’sallstuff!”

hehurriedout;butwhenhehadalmostclosedthedoorbehindhim,hesuddenlyopeneditagain,andsaid,lookingaway:

“oh,bytheway,doyourememberthatmurder,youknowporfiry’s,thatoldwoman?doyouknowthemurdererhasbeenfound,hehasconfessedandgiventheproofs.it’soneofthoseveryworkmen,thepainter,onlyfancy!doyourememberidefendedthemhere?wouldyoubelieveit,allthatsceneoffightingandlaughingwithhiscompanionsonthestairswhiletheporterandthetwowitnessesweregoingup,hegotuponpurposetodisarmsuspicion.thecunning,thepresenceofmindoftheyoungdog!onecanhardlycreditit;butit’shisownexplanation,hehasconfesseditall.andwhatafooliwasaboutit!well,he’ssimplyageniusofhypocrisyandresourcefulnessindisarmingthesuspicionsofthelawyers—sothere’snothingmuchtowonderat,isuppose!ofcoursepeoplelikethatarealwayspossible.andthefactthathecouldn’tkeepupthecharacter,butconfessed,makeshimeasiertobelievein.butwhatafooliwas!iwasfranticontheirside!”

“tellme,please,fromwhomdidyouhearthat,andwhydoesitinterestyouso?”raskolnikovaskedwithunmistakableagitation.

“whatnext?youaskmewhyitinterestsme!…well,ihearditfromporfiry,amongothers…itwasfromhimiheardalmostallaboutit.”

“fromporfiry?”

“fromporfiry.”

“what…whatdidhesay?”raskolnikovaskedindismay.

“hegavemeacapitalexplanationofit.psychologically,afterhisfashion.”

“heexplainedit?explainedithimself?”

“yes,yes;good-bye.i’lltellyouallaboutitanothertime,butnowi’mbusy.therewasatimewhenifancied…butnomatter,anothertime!…whatneedisthereformetodrinknow?youhavemademedrunkwithoutwine.iamdrunk,rodya!good-bye,i’mgoing.i’llcomeagainverysoon.”

hewentout.