第153章

第153章“whatisittodowithmeifsillyideasdidoccurtoyou?”heshouted,“that’snoevidence.youmayhavedreamtit,that’sall!anditellyou,youarelying,sir.youarelyingandslanderingfromsomespiteagainstme,simplyfrompique,becauseididnotagreewithyourfree-thinking,godless,socialpropositions!”

butthisretortdidnotbenefitpyotrpetrovitch.murmursofdisapprovalwereheardonallsides.

“ah,that’syourlinenow,isit!”criedlebeziatnikov,“that’snonsense!callthepoliceandi’lltakemyoath!there’sonlyonethingican’tunderstand:whatmadehimrisksuchacontemptibleaction.oh,pitiful,despicableman!”

“icanexplainwhyheriskedsuchanaction,andifnecessary,i,too,willsweartoit,”raskolnikovsaidatlastinafirmvoice,andhesteppedforward.

heappearedtobefirmandcomposed.everyonefeltclearly,fromtheverylookofhimthathereallyknewaboutitandthatthemysterywouldbesolved.

“nowicanexplainitalltomyself,”saidraskolnikov,addressinglebeziatnikov.“fromtheverybeginningofthebusiness,isuspectedthattherewassomescoundrellyintrigueatthebottomofit.ibegantosuspectitfromsomespecialcircumstancesknowntomeonly,whichiwillexplainatoncetoeveryone:theyaccountforeverything.yourvaluableevidencehasfinallymadeeverythingcleartome.ibegall,alltolisten.thisgentleman(hepointedtoluzhin)wasrecentlyengagedtobemarriedtoayounglady—mysister,avdotyaromanovnaraskolnikov.butcomingtopetersburghequarrelledwithme,thedaybeforeyesterday,atourfirstmeetingandidrovehimoutofmyroom—ihavetwowitnessestoproveit.heisaveryspitefulman.…thedaybeforeyesterdayididnotknowthathewasstayinghere,inyourroom,andthatconsequentlyontheverydaywequarrelled—thedaybeforeyesterday—hesawmegivekaterinaivanovnasomemoneyforthefuneral,asafriendofthelatemr.marmeladov.heatoncewroteanotetomymotherandinformedherthatihadgivenawayallmymoney,nottokaterinaivanovnabuttosofyasemyonovna,andreferredinamostcontemptiblewaytothe…characterofsofyasemyonovna,thatis,hintedatthecharacterofmyattitudetosofyasemyonovna.allthisyouunderstandwaswiththeobjectofdividingmefrommymotherandsister,byinsinuatingthatiwassquanderingonunworthyobjectsthemoneywhichtheyhadsentmeandwhichwasalltheyhad.yesterdayevening,beforemymotherandsisterandinhispresence,ideclaredthatihadgiventhemoneytokaterinaivanovnaforthefuneralandnottosofyasemyonovnaandthatihadnoacquaintancewithsofyasemyonovnaandhadneverseenherbefore,indeed.atthesametimeiaddedthathe,pyotrpetrovitchluzhin,withallhisvirtues,wasnotworthsofyasemyonovna’slittlefinger,thoughhespokesoillofher.tohisquestion—wouldiletsofyasemyonovnasitdownbesidemysister,iansweredthatihadalreadydonesothatday.irritatedthatmymotherandsisterwereunwillingtoquarrelwithmeathisinsinuations,hegraduallybeganbeingunpardonablyrudetothem.afinalrupturetookplaceandhewasturnedoutofthehouse.allthishappenedyesterdayevening.nowibegyourspecialattention:consider:ifhehadnoweededinprovingthatsofyasemyonovnawasathief,hewouldhaveshowntomymotherandsisterthathewasalmostrightinhissuspicions,thathehadreasontobeangryatmyputtingmysisteronalevelwithsofyasemyonovna,that,inattackingme,hewasprotectingandpreservingthehonourofmysister,hisbetrothed.infacthemighteven,throughallthis,havebeenabletoestrangemefrommyfamily,andnodoubthehopedtoberestoredtofavourwiththem;tosaynothingofrevenginghimselfonmepersonally,forhehasgroundsforsupposingthatthehonourandhappinessofsofyasemyonovnaareveryprecioustome.thatwaswhathewasworkingfor!that’showiunderstandit.that’sthewholereasonforitandtherecanbenoother!”

itwaslikethis,orsomewhatlikethis,thatraskolnikovwounduphisspeechwhichwasfollowedveryattentively,thoughofteninterruptedbyexclamationsfromhisaudience.butinspiteofinterruptionshespokeclearly,calmly,exactly,firmly.hisdecisivevoice,histoneofconvictionandhissternfacemadeagreatimpressiononeveryone.

“yes,yes,that’sit,”lebeziatnikovassentedgleefully,“thatmustbeit,forheaskedme,assoonassofyasemyonovnacameintoourroom,whetheryouwerehere,whetherihadseenyouamongkaterinaivanovna’sguests.hecalledmeasidetothewindowandaskedmeinsecret.itwasessentialforhimthatyoushouldbehere!that’sit,that’sit!”