第154章

第154章luzhinsmiledcontemptuouslyanddidnotspeak.buthewasverypale.heseemedtobedeliberatingonsomemeansofescape.perhapshewouldhavebeengladtogiveupeverythingandgetaway,butatthemomentthiswasscarcelypossible.itwouldhaveimpliedadmittingthetruthoftheaccusationsbroughtagainsthim.moreover,thecompany,whichhadalreadybeenexcitedbydrink,wasnowtoomuchstirredtoallowit.thecommissariatclerk,thoughindeedhehadnotgraspedthewholeposition,wasshoutinglouderthananyoneandwasmakingsomeestionsveryunpleasanttoluzhin.butnotallthosepresentweredrunk;lodgerscameinfromalltherooms.thethreepolesweretremendouslyexcitedandwerecontinuallyshoutingathim:“thepanisalajdak!”andmutteringthreatsinpolish.soniahadbeenlisteningwithstrainedattention,thoughshetooseemedunabletograspitall;sheseemedasthoughshehadjustreturnedtoconsciousness.shedidnottakehereyesoffraskolnikov,feelingthatallhersafetylayinhim.katerinaivanovnabreathedhardandpainfullyandseemedfearfullyexhausted.amaliaivanovnastoodlookingmorestupidthananyone,withhermouthwideopen,unabletomakeoutwhathadhappened.sheonlysawthatpyotrpetrovitchhadsomehowcometogrief.

raskolnikovwasattemptingtospeakagain,buttheydidnotlethim.everyonewascrowdingroundluzhinwiththreatsandshoutsofabuse.butpyotrpetrovitchwasnotintimidated.seeingthathisaccusationofsoniahadcompletelyfailed,hehadrecoursetoinsolence:

“allowme,gentlemen,allowme!don’tsqueeze,letmepass!”hesaid,makinghiswaythroughthecrowd.“andnothreats,ifyouplease!iassureyouitwillbeuseless,youwillgainnothingbyit.onthecontrary,you’llhavetoanswer,gentlemen,forviolentlyobstructingthecourseofjustice.thethiefhasbeenmorethanunmasked,andishallprosecute.ourjudgesarenotsoblindand…notsodrunk,andwillnotbelievethetestimonyoftwonotoriousinfidels,agitators,andatheists,whoaccusemefrommotivesofpersonalrevengewhichtheyarefoolishenoughtoadmit.…yes,allowmetopass!”

“don’tletmefindatraceofyouinmyroom!kindlyleaveatonce,andeverythingisatanendbetweenus!whenithinkofthetroublei’vebeentaking,thewayi’vebeenexpounding…allthisfortnight!”

“itoldyoumyselfto-daythatiwasgoing,whenyoutriedtokeepme;nowiwillsimplyaddthatyouareafool.iadviseyoutoseeadoctorforyourbrainsandyourshortsight.letmepass,gentlemen!”

heforcedhiswaythrough.butthecommissariatclerkwasunwillingtolethimoffsoeasily:hepickedupaglassfromthetable,brandisheditintheairandflungitatpyotrpetrovitch;buttheglassflewstraightatamaliaivanovna.shescreamed,andtheclerk,overbalancing,fellheavilyunderthetable.pyotrpetrovitchmadehiswaytohisroomandhalfanhourlaterhadleftthehouse.sonia,timidbynature,hadfeltbeforethatdaythatshecouldbeill-treatedmoreeasilythananyone,andthatshecouldbewrongedwithimpunity.yettillthatmomentshehadfanciedthatshemightescapemisfortunebycare,gentlenessandsubmissivenessbeforeeveryone.herdisappointmentwastoogreat.shecould,ofcourse,bearwithpatienceandalmostwithoutmurmuranything,eventhis.butforthefirstminuteshefeltittoobitter.inspiteofhertriumphandherjustification—whenherfirstterrorandstupefactionhadpassedandshecouldunderstanditallclearly—thefeelingofherhelplessnessandofthewrongdonetohermadeherheartthrobwithanguishandshewasovercomewithhystericalweeping.atlast,unabletobearanymore,sherushedoutoftheroomandranhome,almostimmediatelyafterluzhin’sdeparture.whenamidstloudlaughtertheglassflewatamaliaivanovna,itwasmorethanthelandladycouldendure.withashrieksherushedlikeafuryatkaterinaivanovna,consideringhertoblameforeverything.

“outofmylodgings!atonce!quickmarch!”

andwiththesewordsshebegansnatchingupeverythingshecouldlayherhandsonthatbelongedtokaterinaivanovna,andthrowingitonthefloor.katerinaivanovna,pale,almostfainting,andgaspingforbreath,jumpedupfromthebedwhereshehadsunkinexhaustionanddartedatamaliaivanovna.butthebattlewastoounequal:thelandladywavedherawaylikeafeather.

“what!asthoughthatgodlesscalumnywasnotenough—thisvilecreatureattacksme!what!onthedayofmyhusband’sfuneraliamturnedoutofmylodging!aftereatingmybreadandsaltsheturnsmeintothestreet,withmyorphans!whereamitogo?”wailedthepoorwoman,sobbingandgasping.“goodgod!”shecriedwithflashingeyes,“istherenojusticeuponearth?whomshouldyouprotectifnotusorphans?weshallsee!thereislawandjusticeonearth,thereis,iwillfindit!waitabit,godlesscreature!polenka,staywiththechildren,i’llcomeback.waitforme,ifyouhavetowaitinthestreet.wewillseewhetherthereisjusticeonearth!”

andthrowingoverherheadthatgreenshawlwhichmarmeladovhadmentionedtoraskolnikov,katerinaivanovnasqueezedherwaythroughthedisorderlyanddrunkencrowdoflodgerswhostillfilledtheroom,and,wailingandtearful,sheranintothestreet—withavagueintentionofgoingatoncesomewheretofindjustice.polenkawiththetwolittleonesinherarmscrouched,terrified,onthetrunkinthecorneroftheroom,whereshewaitedtremblingforhermothertocomeback.amaliaivanovnaragedabouttheroom,shrieking,lamentingandthrowingeverythingshecameacrossonthefloor.thelodgerstalkedincoherently,somecommentedtothebestoftheirabilityonwhathadhappened,othersquarrelledandsworeatoneanother,whileothersstruckupasong.…

“nowit’stimeformetogo,”thoughtraskolnikov.“well,sofyasemyonovna,weshallseewhatyou’llsaynow!”

andhesetoffinthedirectionofsonia’slodgings.