第109章

第109章“no,notvery,”svidrigailovanswered,calmly.“andmarfapetrovnaandiscarcelyeverfought.welivedveryharmoniously,andshewasalwayspleasedwithme.ionlyusedthewhiptwiceinalloursevenyears(notcountingathirdoccasionofaveryambiguouscharacter).thefirsttime,twomonthsafterourmarriage,immediatelyafterwearrivedinthecountry,andthelasttimewasthatofwhichwearespeaking.didyousupposeiwassuchamonster,suchareactionary,suchaslavedriver?ha,ha!bytheway,doyouremember,rodionromanovitch,howafewyearsago,inthosedaysofbeneficentpublicity,anobleman,i’veforgottenhisname,wasputtoshameeverywhere,inallthepapers,forhavingthrashedagermanwomanintherailwaytrain.youremember?itwasinthosedays,thatveryyearibelieve,the‘disgracefulactionoftheage’tookplace(youknow,‘theegyptiannights,’thatpublicreading,youremember?thedarkeyes,youknow!ah,thegoldendaysofouryouth,wherearethey?).well,asforthegentlemanwhothrashedthegerman,ifeelnosympathywithhim,becauseafterallwhatneedisthereforsympathy?butimustsaythattherearesometimessuchprovoking‘germans’thatidon’tbelievethereisaprogressivewhocouldquiteanswerforhimself.noonelookedatthesubjectfromthatpointofviewthen,butthat’sthetrulyhumanepointofview,iassureyou.”

aftersayingthis,svidrigailovbrokeintoasuddenlaughagain.raskolnikovsawclearlythatthiswasamanwithafirmpurposeinhismindandabletokeepittohimself.

“iexpectyou’venottalkedtoanyoneforsomedays?”heasked.

“scarcelyanyone.isupposeyouarewonderingatmybeingsuchanadaptableman?”

“no,iamonlywonderingatyourbeingtooadaptableaman.”

“becauseiamnotoffendedattherudenessofyourquestions?isthatit?butwhytakeoffence?asyouasked,soianswered,”hereplied,withasurprisingexpressionofsimplicity.“youknow,there’shardlyanythingitakeinterestin,”hewenton,asitweredreamily,“especiallynow,i’venothingtodo.…youarequiteatlibertytoimaginethoughthatiammakinguptoyouwithamotive,particularlyasitoldyouiwanttoseeyoursisteraboutsomething.buti’llconfessfrankly,iamverymuchbored.thelastthreedaysespecially,soiamdelightedtoseeyou.…don’tbeangry,rodionromanovitch,butyouseemtobesomehowawfullystrangeyourself.saywhatyoulike,there’ssomethingwrongwithyou,andnow,too…notthisveryminute,imean,butnow,generally.…well,well,iwon’t,iwon’t,don’tscowl!iamnotsuchabear,youknow,asyouthink.”

raskolnikovlookedgloomilyathim.

“youarenotabear,perhaps,atall,”hesaid.“ifancyindeedthatyouareamanofverygoodbreeding,oratleastknowhowonoccasiontobehavelikeone.”

“iamnotparticularlyinterestedinanyone’sopinion,”svidrigailovanswered,drylyandevenwithashadeofhaughtiness,“andthereforewhynotbevulgarattimeswhenvulgarityissuchaconvenientcloakforourclimate…andespeciallyifonehasanaturalpropensitythatway,”headded,laughingagain.

“buti’veheardyouhavemanyfriendshere.youare,astheysay,‘notwithoutconnections.’whatcanyouwantwithme,then,unlessyou’vesomespecialobject?”

“that’struethatihavefriendshere,”svidrigailovadmitted,notreplyingtothechiefpoint.“i’vemetsomealready.i’vebeenloungingaboutforthelastthreedays,andi’veseenthem,orthey’veseenme.that’samatterofcourse.iamwelldressedandreckonednotapoorman;theemancipationoftheserfshasn’taffectedme;mypropertyconsistschieflyofforestsandwatermeadows.therevenuehasnotfallenoff;but…iamnotgoingtoseethem,iwassickofthemlongago.i’vebeenherethreedaysandhavecalledonnoone.…whatatownitis!howhasitcomeintoexistenceamongus,tellmethat?atownofofficialsandstudentsofallsorts.yes,there’sagreatdealididn’tnoticewheniwashereeightyearsago,kickingupmyheels.…myonlyhopenowisinanatomy,byjove,itis!”

“anatomy?”

“butasfortheseclubs,dussauts,parades,orprogress,indeed,maybe—well,allthatcangoonwithoutme,”hewenton,againwithoutnoticingthequestion.“besides,whowantstobeacard-sharper?”

“why,haveyoubeenacard-sharperthen?”

“howcouldihelpbeing?therewasaregularsetofus,menofthebestsociety,eightyearsago;wehadafinetime.andallmenofbreeding,youknow,poets,menofproperty.andindeedasaruleinourrussiansocietythebestmannersarefoundamongthosewho’vebeenthrashed,haveyounoticedthat?i’vedeterioratedinthecountry.butididgetintoprisonfordebt,throughalowgreekwhocamefromnezhin.thenmarfapetrovnaturnedup;shebargainedwithhimandboughtmeoffforthirtythousandsilverpieces(iowedseventythousand).wewereunitedinlawfulwedlockandsheboremeoffintothecountrylikeatreasure.youknowshewasfiveyearsolderthani.shewasveryfondofme.forsevenyearsineverleftthecountry.and,takenote,thatallmylifesheheldadocumentoverme,theiouforthirtythousandroubles,soifiweretoelecttoberestiveaboutanythingishouldbetrappedatonce!andshewouldhavedoneit!womenfindnothingincompatibleinthat.”

“ifithadn’tbeenforthat,wouldyouhavegivenhertheslip?”