第161章

第161章“youtrembleandbecomeflushedwhenevermissoliverenterstheschoolroom.”

againthesurprisedexpressioncrossedhisface.hehadnotimaginedthatawomanwoulddaretospeaksotoaman.forme,ifeltathomeinthissortofdiscourse.icouldneverrestincommunicationwithstrong,discreet,andrefinedminds,whethermaleorfemale,tillihadpassedtheoutworksofconventionalreserve,andcrossedthethresholdofconfidence,andwonaplacebytheirheart’sveryhearthstone.

“youareoriginal,”saidhe,“andnottimid.thereissomethingbraveinyourspirit,aswellaspenetratinginyoureye;butallowmetoassureyouthatyoupartiallymisinterpretmyemotions.youthinkthemmoreprofoundandpotentthantheyare.yougivemealargerallowanceofsympathythanihaveajustclaimto.whenicolour,andwhenishadebeforemissoliver,idonotpitymyself.iscorntheweakness.iknowitisignoble:amerefeveroftheflesh:not,ideclare,theconvulsionofthesoul.thatisjustasfixedasarock,firmsetinthedepthsofarestlesssea.knowmetobewhatiam—acoldhardman.”

ismiledincredulously.

“youhavetakenmyconfidencebystorm,”hecontinued,“andnowitismuchatyourservice.iamsimply,inmyoriginalstate—strippedofthatblood-bleachedrobewithwhichchristianitycovershumandeformity—acold,hard,ambitiousman.naturalaffectiononly,ofallthesentiments,haspermanentpoweroverme.reason,andnotfeeling,ismyguide;myambitionisunlimited:mydesiretorisehigher,todomorethanothers,insatiable.ihonourendurance,perseverance,industry,talent;becausethesearethemeansbywhichmenachievegreatendsandmounttoloftyeminence.iwatchyourcareerwithinterest,becauseiconsideryouaspecimenofadiligent,orderly,energeticwoman:notbecauseideeplycompassionatewhatyouhavegonethrough,orwhatyoustillsuffer.”

“youwoulddescribeyourselfasamerepaganphilosopher,”isaid.

“no.thereisthisdifferencebetweenmeanddeisticphilosophers:ibelieve;andibelievethegospel.youmissedyourepithet.iamnotapagan,butachristianphilosopher—afollowerofthesectofjesus.ashisdiscipleiadopthispure,hismerciful,hisbenignantdoctrines.iadvocatethem:iamsworntospreadthem.woninyouthtoreligion,shehascultivatedmyoriginalqualitiesthus:—romtheminutegerm,naturalaffection,shehasdevelopedtheovershadowingtree,philanthropy.fromthewildstringyrootofhumanuprightness,shehasrearedaduesenseofthedivinejustice.oftheambitiontowinpowerandrenownformywretchedself,shehasformedtheambitiontospreadmymaster’skingdom;toachievevictoriesforthestandardofthecross.somuchhasreligiondoneforme;turningtheoriginalmaterialstothebestaccount;pruningandtrainingnature.butshecouldnoteradicatenature:norwillitbeeradicated‘tillthismortalshallputonimmortality.’”

havingsaidthis,hetookhishat,whichlayonthetablebesidemypalette.oncemorehelookedattheportrait.

“sheislovely,”hemurmured.“sheiswellnamedtheroseoftheworld,indeed!”

“andmayinotpaintonelikeitforyou?”

“cuibono?no.”

hedrewoverthepicturethesheetofthinpaperonwhichiwasaccustomedtorestmyhandinpainting,topreventthecardboardfrombeingsullied.whathesuddenlysawonthisblankpaper,itwasimpossibleformetotell;butsomethinghadcaughthiseye.hetookitupwithasnatch;helookedattheedge;thenshotaglanceatme,inexpressiblypeculiar,andquiteincomprehensible:aglancethatseemedtotakeandmakenoteofeverypointinmyshape,face,anddress;forittraversedall,quick,keenaslightning.hislipsparted,asiftospeak:buthecheckedthecomingsentence,whateveritwas.

“whatisthematter?”iasked.

“nothingintheworld,”wasthereply;and,replacingthepaper,isawhimdexterouslytearanarrowslipfromthemargin.itdisappearedinhisglove;and,withonehastynodand“good-afternoon,”hevanished.

“well!”iexclaimed,usinganexpressionofthedistrict,“thatcapstheglobe,however!”

i,inmyturn,scrutinisedthepaper;butsawnothingonitsaveafewdingystainsofpaintwhereihadtriedthetintinmypencil.iponderedthemysteryaminuteortwo;butfindingitinsolvable,andbeingcertainitcouldnotbeofmuchmoment,idismissed,andsoonforgotit.