第35章 - 简·爱 - 佚名 - 都市言情小说 - 30读书
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第35章

第35章hithertoihaverecordedindetailtheeventsofmyinsignificantexistence:tothefirsttenyearsofmylifeihavegivenalmostasmanychapters.butthisisnottobearegularautobiography.iamonlyboundtoinvokememorywhereiknowherresponseswillpossesssomedegreeofinterest;thereforeinowpassaspaceofeightyearsalmostinsilence:afewlinesonlyarenecessarytokeepupthelinksofconnection.

whenthetyphusfeverhadfulfilleditsmissionofdevastationatlowood,itgraduallydisappearedfromthence;butnottillitsvirulenceandthenumberofitsvictimshaddrawnpublicattentionontheschool.inquirywasmadeintotheoriginofthescourge,andbydegreesvariousfactscameoutwhichexcitedpublicindignationinahighdegree.theunhealthynatureofthesite;thequantityandqualityofthechildren’sfood;thebrackish,fetidwaterusedinitspreparation;thepupils’wretchedclothingandaccommodations—allthesethingswerediscovered,andthediscoveryproducedaresultmortifyingtomr.brocklehurst,butbeneficialtotheinstitution.

severalwealthyandbenevolentindividualsinthecountysubscribedlargelyfortheerectionofamoreconvenientbuildinginabettersituation;newregulationsweremade;improvementsindietandclothingintroduced;thefundsoftheschoolwereintrustedtothemanagementofacommittee.mr.brocklehurst,who,fromhiswealthandfamilyconnections,couldnotbeoverlooked,stillretainedthepostoftreasurer;buthewasaidedinthedischargeofhisdutiesbygentlemenofrathermoreenlargedandsympathisingminds:hisofficeofinspector,too,wassharedbythosewhoknewhowtocombinereasonwithstrictness,comfortwitheconomy,compassionwithuprightness.theschool,thusimproved,becameintimeatrulyusefulandnobleinstitution.iremainedaninmateofitswalls,afteritsregeneration,foreightyears:sixaspupil,andtwoasteacher;andinbothcapacitiesibearmytestimonytoitsvalueandimportance.

duringtheseeightyearsmylifewasuniform:butnotunhappy,becauseitwasnotinactive.ihadthemeansofanexcellenteducationplacedwithinmyreach;afondnessforsomeofmystudies,andadesiretoexcelinall,togetherwithagreatdelightinpleasingmyteachers,especiallysuchasiloved,urgedmeon:iavailedmyselffullyoftheadvantagesofferedme.intimeirosetobethefirstgirlofthefirstclass;theniwasinvestedwiththeofficeofteacher;whichidischargedwithzealfortwoyears:butattheendofthattimeialtered.

misstemple,throughallchanges,hadthusfarcontinuedsuperintendentoftheseminary:toherinstructioniowedthebestpartofmyacquirements;herfriendshipandsocietyhadbeenmycontinualsolace;shehadstoodmeinthesteadofmother,governess,and,latterly,companion.atthisperiodshemarried,removedwithherhusband(aclergyman,anexcellentman,almostworthyofsuchawife)toadistantcounty,andconsequentlywaslosttome.

fromthedaysheleftiwasnolongerthesame:withherwasgoneeverysettledfeeling,everyassociationthathadmadelowoodinsomedegreeahometome.ihadimbibedfromhersomethingofhernatureandmuchofherhabits:moreharmoniousthoughts:whatseemedbetterregulatedfeelingshadbecometheinmatesofmymind.ihadgiveninallegiancetodutyandorder;iwasquiet;ibelievediwascontent:totheeyesofothers,usuallyeventomyown,iappearedadisciplinedandsubduedcharacter.

butdestiny,intheshapeoftherev.mr.nasmyth,camebetweenmeandmisstemple:isawherinhertravellingdressstepintoapost-chaise,shortlyafterthemarriageceremony;iwatchedthechaisemountthehillanddisappearbeyonditsbrow;andthenretiredtomyownroom,andtherespentinsolitudethegreatestpartofthehalf-holidaygrantedinhonouroftheoccasion.

iwalkedaboutthechambermostofthetime.iimaginedmyselfonlytoberegrettingmyloss,andthinkinghowtorepairit;butwhenmyreflectionswereconcluded,andilookedupandfoundthattheafternoonwasgone,andeveningfaradvanced,anotherdiscoverydawnedonme,namely,thatintheintervalihadundergoneatransformingprocess;thatmymindhadputoffallithadborrowedofmisstemple—orratherthatshehadtakenwithherthesereneatmosphereihadbeenbreathinginhervicinity—andthatnowiwasleftinmynaturalelement,andbeginningtofeelthestirringofoldemotions.itdidnotseemasifapropwerewithdrawn,butratherasifamotiveweregone:itwasnotthepowertobetranquilwhichhadfailedme,butthereasonfortranquillitywasnomore.myworldhadforsomeyearsbeeninlowood:myexperiencehadbeenofitsrulesandsystems;nowirememberedthattherealworldwaswide,andthatavariedfieldofhopesandfears,ofsensationsandexcitements,awaitedthosewhohadcouragetogoforthintoitsexpanse,toseekrealknowledgeoflifeamidstitsperils.

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