第24章

第24章“itwasmerechance;thesubjectonwhichwehadbeenreadinghadinterestedme.thisafternoon,insteadofdreamingofdeepden,iwaswonderinghowamanwhowishedtodorightcouldactsounjustlyandunwiselyascharlesthefirstsometimesdid;andithoughtwhatapityitwasthat,withhisintegrityandconscientiousness,hecouldseenofartherthantheprerogativesofthecrown.ifhehadbutbeenabletolooktoadistance,andseehowwhattheycallthespiritoftheagewastending!still,ilikecharles—irespecthim—ipityhim,poormurderedking!yes,hisenemiesweretheworst:theyshedbloodtheyhadnorighttoshed.howdaredtheykillhim!”

helenwastalkingtoherselfnow:shehadforgottenicouldnotverywellunderstandher—thatiwasignorant,ornearlyso,ofthesubjectshediscussed.irecalledhertomylevel.

“andwhenmisstempleteachesyou,doyourthoughtswanderthen?”

“no,certainly,notoften;becausemisstemplehasgenerallysomethingtosaywhichisnewerthanmyownreflections;herlanguageissingularlyagreeabletome,andtheinformationshecommunicatesisoftenjustwhatiwishedtogain.”

“well,then,withmisstempleyouaregood?”

“yes,inapassiveway:imakenoeffort;ifollowasinclinationguidesme.thereisnomeritinsuchgoodness.”

“agreatdeal:youaregoodtothosewhoaregoodtoyou.itisallieverdesiretobe.ifpeoplewerealwayskindandobedienttothosewhoarecruelandunjust,thewickedpeoplewouldhaveitalltheirownway:theywouldneverfeelafraid,andsotheywouldneveralter,butwouldgrowworseandworse.whenwearestruckatwithoutareason,weshouldstrikebackagainveryhard;iamsureweshould—sohardastoteachthepersonwhostruckusnevertodoitagain.”

“youwillchangeyourmind,ihope,whenyougrowolder:asyetyouarebutalittleuntaughtgirl.”

“butifeelthis,helen;imustdislikethosewho,whateveridotopleasethem,persistindislikingme;imustresistthosewhopunishmeunjustly.itisasnaturalasthatishouldlovethosewhoshowmeaffection,orsubmittopunishmentwhenifeelitisdeserved.”

“heathensandsavagetribesholdthatdoctrine,butchristiansandcivilisednationsdisownit.”

“how?idon’tunderstand.”

“itisnotviolencethatbestovercomeshate—norvengeancethatmostcertainlyhealsinjury.”

“whatthen?”

“readthenewtestament,andobservewhatchristsays,andhowheacts;makehiswordyourrule,andhisconductyourexample.”

“whatdoeshesay?”

“loveyourenemies;blessthemthatcurseyou;dogoodtothemthathateyouanddespitefullyuseyou.”

“thenishouldlovemrs.reed,whichicannotdo;ishouldblesshersonjohn,whichisimpossible.”

inherturn,helenburnsaskedmetoexplain,andiproceededforthwithtopourout,inmyownway,thetaleofmysufferingsandresentments.bitterandtruculentwhenexcited,ispokeasifelt,withoutreserveorsoftening.

helenheardmepatientlytotheend:iexpectedshewouldthenmakearemark,butshesaidnothing.

“well,”iaskedimpatiently,“isnotmrs.reedahard-hearted,badwoman?”

“shehasbeenunkindtoyou,nodoubt;becauseyousee,shedislikesyourcastofcharacter,asmissscatcherddoesmine;buthowminutelyyourememberallshehasdoneandsaidtoyou!whatasingularlydeepimpressionherinjusticeseemstohavemadeonyourheart!noill-usagesobrandsitsrecordonmyfeelings.wouldyounotbehappierifyoutriedtoforgetherseverity,togetherwiththepassionateemotionsitexcited?lifeappearstometooshorttobespentinnursinganimosityorregisteringwrongs.weare,andmustbe,oneandall,burdenedwithfaultsinthisworld:butthetimewillsooncomewhen,itrust,weshallputthemoffinputtingoffourcorruptiblebodies;whendebasementandsinwillfallfromuswiththiscumbrousframeofflesh,andonlythesparkofthespiritwillremain,—theimpalpableprincipleoflightandthought,pureaswhenitleftthecreatortoinspirethecreature:whenceitcameitwillreturn;perhapsagaintobecommunicatedtosomebeinghigherthanman—perhapstopassthroughgradationsofglory,fromthepalehumansoultobrightentotheseraph!surelyitwillnever,onthecontrary,besufferedtodegeneratefrommantofiend?no;icannotbelievethat:iholdanothercreed:whichnooneevertaughtme,andwhichiseldommention;butinwhichidelight,andtowhichicling:foritextendshopetoall:itmakeseternityarest—amightyhome,notaterrorandanabyss.besides,withthiscreed,icansoclearlydistinguishbetweenthecriminalandhiscrime;icansosincerelyforgivethefirstwhileiabhorthelast:withthiscreedrevengeneverworriesmyheart,degradationnevertoodeeplydisgustsme,injusticenevercrushesmetoolow:iliveincalm,lookingtotheend.”

helen’shead,alwaysdrooping,sankalittlelowerasshefinishedthissentence.isawbyherlookshewishednolongertotalktome,butrathertoconversewithherownthoughts.shewasnotallowedmuchtimeformeditation:amonitor,agreatroughgirl,presentlycameup,exclaiminginastrongcumberlandaccent—

“helenburns,ifyoudon’tgoandputyourdrawerinorder,andfoldupyourworkthisminute,i’lltellmissscatcherdtocomeandlookatit!”

helensighedasherreveriefled,andgettingup,obeyedthemonitorwithoutreplyaswithoutdelay.